We have so much stuff.
We define ourselves by how much and how expensive our stuff is.
I was walking and saw so many expensive cars and driveways full of two, three, and four cars.
Jesus and the Bible talk about how stuff and riches aren’t always the greatest.
Yes, some of us will be rich and prosper. That’s in the Bible.
How we treat that stuff is the problem. Are we making it idols? Are we making it gods? Are we valuing and worshipping it more than we should and more than God? Are we using stuff to fill voids and cover our issues and insecurities?
While stuff is nice, and I am blessed to have plenty of it, it doesn’t define me. Receiving gifts and stuff is not important to me. That’s my lowest love language.
It may have something to do with feeling like my stuff mattered more than me to others when I was younger. It may have something to do with the fact that I got stuff when I needed time.
I just don’t need much. I am actually overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I discovered I had after living 10ish hours away from all of it for more than a year. I gave some away and dang near wanted to just give all of it away. I’m not gonna be able to wear most of it soon anyway.
Years ago, when I cleaned out and gave away my physical stuff my inside, my mind, felt clearer and lighter. I ended up wasting money and acquiring a lot of stuff again. Fortunately, it was just stuff to me. I was lazy and didn’t want to pay money to wash clothes. I was bored. I still gave stuff away and bought stuff for others.
I ended up far less able to afford stuff a couple of years ago. It didn’t even matter. I can’t really afford the different levels of lifestyles I’ve had. But I don’t care. My identity isn’t tied to stuff.
I have the capacity to earn a lot of money when I pass the bar. My dream car? A GMC Acadia. American made. Cheaper maintenance.
I want to buy a condo in the near future. Eventually? Land to custom build a house for me, houses for any children I have or adopt to leave something for my future, and have a farm to give food and jobs to those in need. The hands and feet of Jesus (Matthew 25:31-40) and following what the Bible says parents should do (Proverbs 13:22).
What does your stuff and how you relate to it say about you? What does it mean to you? How does it affect you?
That is a powerful couple of words. Sometimes it’s so hard to just “do you.” We are conditioned to cater to and pander to others. It’s part of our human nature. We seek approval and validation outside of ourselves in others. It is natural to desire praise and recognition for what it is that we do.
It is also dangerous to depend on others to create how we see ourselves. By giving people permission, the keys, to dictate our worth and our value we become prisoners to their fickle, human minds. By giving others the keys we unintentionally allow them the authority over all of who we are.
By allowing others and the world to tell us how great or horrible we are, we get on a wheel, a merry-go-round, a seemingly unending cycle. Once we allow another or a thing to control us, once we seek permission from others to be who and what we are, they/it will never be satisfied. They will always want more. One day we will look up and be shattered remnants of the person we once were.
By being unwilling to “do you” when no one looks or applauds we are holding captive the passion and what we were created to do. As individuals, we should seek to be free. Free to follow our hearts. Free to follow our passions. Free to fulfill what we were created to do. Free to be happy. Free to have joy.
Society places an emphasis on external measures of success and beauty. Society says we have to look a certain way, act a certain way, wear certain things, own certain things, talk a certain way or we just aren’t good enough.
I submit that we are all good enough. We are all beautiful enough. We are all talented enough. We just have to own our own keys. We have to be willing to “do you” no matter what.
I don’t men be rude, ruthless, mean, cutthroat, or disrespectful. While we “do you” it is imperative that we value us enough to value others. Poor behavior is often indicative of poor self-worth. If we can’t treat others well while we “do you” we cannot “do you” well. We may lie to ourselves and justify our behavior.
But there is a conscious effort we make when we “do you” and being ourselves that, when done with the purest of motives, will not allow us to “do you” at the expense of others. Sure, people appear to be successful who have done it at the expense of others. But those people often live with regrets and that success comes at a price they may be unwilling to pay if they had it to do over.
So today, I challenge us to “do you.” Even if nobody notices. Even if nobody ever recognizes it. The self-satisfaction in being true to our authentic selves will far outweigh anything any other person could ever give us. People’s accolades are temporary. The internal power, strength, and love that we receive from our decision to “do you” far outweighs anything any other person can give.
“Do you” boo!
I was wearing blue sapphires and diamonds one day. Those are precious stones. Proverbs 31 talks about a woman whose price is far above precious stones.
There are people who think a woman should buy her own things. Then when she’s ready for a man she can say what she is capable of doing for herself and he should be able to do the same and/or better.
In part, that’s why I bought mine. I also wanted some nice stuff. The thing is I have come to discover is that if I want something and I can get it for myself I shoule. You should only demand of others what you are willing to give.
Now I get that because of my future job and my dreams and goals my earning potential may be exponentially higher than a man’s. I’m not really talking about stuff or the cost of the stuff. I mean you have to be willing to treat yourself well, take care of yourself, love yourself, value yourself, be kind to yourself.
If you are broken you will either attract broken people or people who prey on broken people. And if you aren’t strong enough or careful enough you will allow others to change you. I’ve been guilty of all 3. It’s easy when you just want peace. It’s easy to repeat past behavior.
And then one day you will look up and not recognize yourself. You’ll look up and not like what you see. It’s true that sometimes you go through the same thing and learn different things. But it is also it is imperative that one guards their heart. That’s the essence of you.
Sometimes you can forget how important you are. Sometimes you forget how valuable and precious you are. I saw a fb post that basically said when you realize how much you are worth you will stop giving people a discount. It’s difficult to change for fickle people. Once you start giving pieces of you away, people will take pieces until you are left empty and broken with much of nothing.
And the road back to you or to a better you is hard and painful. I’ve looked around and assessed my situation. I’m chucking the deuces. If people aren’t adding value, no matter who they are, I don’t really need them around. I don’t need people questioning my decisions. I don’t need people criticizing me. I don’t need people who will make me question or doubt my decisions. I don’t need people who I will have to stop and explain the minute details of everything.
That is too difficult, painful, time consuming and stressful. Ain’t nobody got time for that! I choose me. I choose to live this precious life of mine.
Spent so much time looking for a savior
Searching for a hero to rescue me
Longing for unconditional love
To be seen, valued, treasured
Wanting to matter, belong
Trying to be a round peg
In an undersized square hole
Thinking if I changed me
They would be happy
Only it was too hard
To change what mattered most
Looking back now
I could have pushed
And tried to changed the easier part
But the easier part
Was a coping mechanism
For the parts I buried and hid
Who I am refused to die
It wouldn’t be buried or denied
My savior saved me again
Became my hero and rescued me