Waiting Is The Action But Patiently Is The Attitude

On 5-15-22 Bishop S.Y. Younger preached a message titled The Waiting Conflict. I decided that day, before he even preached, to leave where I was living to move to VA to join his church. After 10 years of visiting churches and never joining one. Almost did twice. But nah. Lol. The plan was to stop elsewhere in the meantime.

The message was good. I’m gonna watch it again. Because I had no idea it was prophetic for me.

I did write down the title of this blog because that was so good to me.

I hate applying for jobs. I started applying for them immediately. I believed it was possible to have a job offer by Thursday.

I got a call Wednesday for a job interview Friday. I was so excited.

The interview went well. People were happy for me and were claiming the job. Something, the Holy Spirit likely, in me didn’t think I would get the job.

I didn’t. I wasn’t surprised. Maybe a touch disappointed.

I had an issue with my car but was under the impression it wasn’t urgent. Well. Almost as soon as I got off the interstate after returning from the interview, I had to stomp on the brakes.

So frustrating. My car is my office. I do gig work and need my car to work. That was an impossibility.

However, I had a credit card coming. I was gonna use it for tires. I also had some money I didn’t know sitting in an account. I was gonna wait to get it. But, I went ahead and set things in motion. I had a car payment due too.

I had this title in my mind and spirit. I wanted to wait well. I’ve been in a situation where things looked dire but God provided. Sometimes it’s hard to remember where you’ve been when you’re in something new if you aren’t in the habit of rehearsing who God has been.

I had to calm myself multiple times. But I felt like I was waiting patiently and well. But the stuff wasn’t in hand or account.

I got an email about a tracker for the money in the account but I couldn’t find the tracker. I called and the rep said that was an extra layer of security. I was incredulous. 3-5 business days started over.

I made a comment about it and the rep just kept repeating that it was an extra security measure. I told him I had to go before I got frustrated and rude. Something like that. I’m trying to do better and be better. I felt something rising.

I asked my mom to see if someone she knew knew a mechanic. I was trying to be cheap (see Cheap Isn’t Always Better). She got me some info and I talked to someone. We set Friday as the time he’d come. I’m thinking the money or the credit card would arrive by then.

I messaged him and got no response. I called and got no response. I priced cv axles. And I called a couple places. The one that actually gave me a quote over the phone was way more expensive than I considered for labor and parts. The labor price was cool. But, I wanted to spend wisely and not have to spend more in the long run so I decided to just let them do it. The warranty of it all.

At this point, it’s Thursday. I was told they wouldn’t be able to get to my car until Tuesday. I decided to go ahead and have it towed.

I started the process of having my car towed at one something Thursday afternoon. It took like five attempts. Ima be honest, I did lose it at one point. I was slightly rude in my frustration.

I told the first person that I had a destination in mind. He told me to tell the service provider when they arrived. I called the service provider to make sure they were doing what I needed. I also had a flat tire I wanted changed (I had a slow leak for forever and all the tires are used. Hence new tires. That bad boy finally conked out.) and a tow. He said they were only doing a tow and they couldn’t change the destination. He canceled and I did too.

I called back and got a new one scheduled. I was told they can only do one thing per request. I was fine with that. Just tow it. They scheduled it correctly for the place I wanted it to go. I had an estimated time of like an hour and fifteen minutes to two hours. Ion remember. I was a grip though.

The time came and went. I called my insurance company. They called the service provider. I would have called them myself like I did the first one. But I didn’t receive any contact info.

He was gone for a few minutes then said the people wouldn’t answer. He said that he would get another provider or something like that. He got me on the books again. But he didn’t pay attention to the location. He just picked one and didn’t ensure it went to the same place.

I think I was a lil rude to him. And that was before I realized what he did. Because I was frustrated and I needed to be able to leave. And the shop closed at 5:30. I then canceled it again and called back. I went outside so I didn’t have to hear my sister tell me how to handle it. Cuz she def said something about my tone. She was right.

I spoke with someone who was supposedly getting it together but asked to speak to a supervisor before he finished. Mistake. I admit I was impatient with him. He was asking questions the other ppl didn’t ask. Time was closing in. He seemed to be taking his sweet precious time.

I had been holding it together all week. I was losing my grasp on that control. I hung up and decided a supervisor could wait. I never got confirmation. I called back. Nothing was on the books. I was frustrated still.

The rep said I could just schedule the service. I got off the phone and said I would call back. I called the auto body shop and she said I could just let the driver drop it and the key after hours. That made it better. I told her about my tire.

I had stuff from my car in my sister’s garage but she said something about the garage being used over the weekend so I decied to take it to storage which is one of the things I already needed to do.

My mom told me she had stuff in her trunk and may have said something about putting it in her car. I don’t know because I was on the phone. Frustrated already. Frustrated still. I think she had a tone too. Cuz she stays having one. Or, it could have, just in this instance, been imagined bc of where I was emotionally and mentally.

I ended up taking my spare tire out and putting it on the floor of my backseat and putting the stuff back in my trunk. I told the rep at the shop that the spare was there and they could put the rim there after they changed it.

I finally called back for a tow for the evening. I got contact info. It was the same place that supposedly ghosted. Nope. They were behind and the insurance ppl don’t like to hold. I got an eta that would have been fine.

The car was at my sister’s and I am staying somewhere else. But my mom was cool to give the ppl the the key. It kept getting later and later. I was told they had a lot of tows and they are a small operation. They said I could schedule it for the morning.

I decided to do that because my mom didn’t answer after one of the eta updates. I scheduled it for when she would be home at 7-7:30.

You know what happened at this point right? It got delayed. I asked my mom to come get me. She said she would be late for work if she did. I asked the person I’m staying with if her daughter could drop me off. She said yes. But her daughter wouldn’t wake up. She then said I could just drive her car.

Then my mom says she would wait and just be late. I asked her if that was the case why couldn’t she just come get me. She said she didn’t think of that and asked what I wanted. I told her to come get me.

I called the tow company because we wouldn’t be at the house for the new time. He said he’d have the guy call on his way. Which ended up being almost another hour after the new eta. Also. I’m pretty sure my mom wasn’t even late to work. Loot at God!

The person who towed my car told me about a cheaper shop. He also told me they are based like an hour away. Crazy to me that the insurance company isn’t contracting with more people who are local.

Now that I think about it, they probably do. But for me and my life and the lessons in this, I had to get this company.

So the mechanic calls me and asks what’s going on. He says he’ll take a look and call me. In the meantime, it’s been nine of the 7-10 days for the credit card. I gotta pay to get the car back.

It hasn’t arrived to me because it was sent to my aunt’s house. It must have been a default or auto fill address. The only reason I thought about it is because I accidentally sent something else there recently. Sure enough. And with Memorial Day I couldn’t even rush the card.

I texted the mechanic Saturday and got no response. It is now Tuesday. I didn’t even bother with it yesterday because of the holiday. I admit. I have panicked with worst case scenarios in my head. Nonsensical bc what are they gonna do? I am definitely calling around eight when they open up.

I haven’t had much success with all the job apps I put in. I have attempted to question if I heard God or if it was just me. I hate ppl, me included, lying on God. I try to be very careful when I invoke Him when discussing what I heard, felt, or am gonna do.

I believe I did. I believe I’ve received confirmation and reassurance. It only takes one job. I’m in the middle of an application process for one. Several others are government jobs. Those move slowly.

I am trying my level best to patiently wait well. It’s hard being out here with a goal and no concrete plan to achieve it. To have no money coming in. To be at the mercy of others.

But, I haven’t gone hungry, homeless, or without my needs being met. I have been in similar situations multiple times before. This is already long enough. Lol.

And honestly. It wouldn’t be faith or trust if I could see how I am going to get there.

So. I’m gonna pray. I’m gonna rehearse what He’s done and what He said. I think I will call about my money again though. 😂🤣 Also, Tricky Trust & Fickle Faith and He 👏🏾 Did 👏🏾 It 👏🏾 Before 👏🏾 are companion blogs. Happy reading.

Though we may not like how, He’s never failed and He won’t start now!

*The last two Where Is My Money and Conclusion Of The Whole Matter*

Swimming Revelation



Check out Swimming. That will make this make sense.

When my nephew had control, or what he felt like was control, he was fine. As long as he could touch the bottom he was okay.

Even though he loves me and feels safe with me, he didn’t trust me at first in the water. He’s seen me do things and trusted me to do things. But they weren’t in the water. He didn’t blindly translate his trust.

He had to see what I did in the water. He had to figure out if I could be trusted in the water. Even though he knew I wouldn’t harm him or meant him no harm.

Sometimes, God wants to put us in something deep. But we resist because we have no control. Sometimes it just seems so big, too big. So, while we wanna go after it, we find a safety net or something safe to attempt to hold on. But we can’t go after it and remain safe at the same time.

God promises not to let us be consumed by fire, drown, or go alone through water (Isaiah 43:2). But, we as humans freak out. He’s shown us in one area, or maybe even similarly in the same area, that we can trust Him. But, for some reason, sometimes, He has to show us He can be trusted.

I’m so grateful that at times He has patience and extends grace. He allows us time to freak out and say no. Then he allows us to test it out by holding on to something safe. Then He allows us to stay close to safety and slowly make our way. He tailors what He does because He knows who we are.

I imagine the safety as God holding our hand as a toddler learning to walk. And, when we’ve grown to a point, trust Him as we should in the situation, He knows we can stand. So He let’s go.

Swimming

I took my nephew swimming today. While we were there, I got so much revelation about how we relate to God.

Lil buddy had on a life vest. He’s under 10 and short bc his parents are. Lol. Three of his four grandparents and several of his aunts are short too.

He can stand up or at least touch the bottom of the pool in up to 3 1/2 feet. The pool is five feet at its deepest. I’m five two. So, I can handle all the water standing up. I just have to hop to stay above water in the deep end.

I picked him up and attempted to carry him into the five feet. He freaked out. He grabbed on to me and wouldn’t let go.

I questioned him about whether I would let him drown. I told him I had him. I asked if he could trust me. I even told him that this was a good lesson about trusting God.

We were there for at least another hour after this. I tried get him to float on his back. He wasn’t having it. He wanted to swim.

He also had this big inner tube float. It’s probably too big for his little self. He was trying to float. But he was also holding on. I told him he couldn’t float and swim at the same time.

I went on about my business. I hung around the deeper part while he shot at me with a water gun. I guess I showed him I was in control in the deep end that scared him. He def said he was scared of the deeper water at one point earlier.

I said I showed him because he decided to hold onto the side of the pool and go all the way around-even in the deep end he was scared of.

We played around some more. A lil Marco Polo round two. Shooting the water gun. Just sitting still.

I asked him if he wanted to go around again. This time he wanted to swim. I suggested he do it close enough to the wall so he could reach out for it. He was gung-ho and ready to start toward the deep end.

I pressed pause on that and showed him what I meant. He went from one side to the other in the shallow water. Then we were off.

He would dunk his face, take a breath, and occasionally grab onto the wall. I told him if he was gonna grab onto the wall we had to stop. I wasn’t going to let him hold on to the wall.

He went all the way around the wall. When we got back to 3 1/2 feet I let him go. He looked at me like he was going to freak out. Then I told him something I found profound.

I knew you could stand up so I let you go.

I try to keep most of these pretty short. I’m gonna read it for more revelation and contemplate what I already got out of it. I’ll cross link them. This is so good to me!

As promised: Swimming Revelation.

Cheap Isn’t Always Better

I am going THROUGH it right now.

The Scripture that just came to mind is this: We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 KJV.

This perfectly describes my situation. Just about everything that can go wrong has been going wrong.

But, I am focused on my anchor. When I try to lose it, okay when I did at the beginning of this current transition and some moments since, I bring myself back around to who God is. See Tricky Trust & Fickle Faith.

One of my issues right now is my car. It is stationary. That affects my ability to work my gig job. Which is affecting my ability to pay my car payment. Which will affect my ability to work my job and have a car.

I really wanna freak out and stress out. I have some plans in the works to get funds to get the money to pay. But they are taking forever.

I also asked around for a mechanic. I was trying to do it as cheap as possible. The mechanic has been unresponsive. And he may have given bad advice.

After he didn’t answer the call after the text from the other day, I called around. The prices are far higher than the mechanic or what I wanted to pay.

He will likely do it right. He works in an actual shop. But he is MIA. And I gotta get this together. I had plans for what I wanted to fix and which funds. But, one set of funds is delayed another week. Now, I have to adjust how I’m going to do all that I need to do.

The deadline for the car payment is far closer for comfort than I’d like without actual funds in hand. Especially with a holiday Monday.

But, here’s the thing. In Bible class last night they talked about when Samuel was off doing the things of God and Saul became impatient. Saul offered the burnt offering Samuel should have. Because of this, Samuel told Saul another king would come into power. (1 Samuel 13)

Doing the cheap or convenient or easy thing may cost far more in the long run. I’m going to invest in my car so I can keep it at least another six years or until I want to get a new car.

I’m going to invest in trust and faith in God so when something that requires more faith comes I can handle something bigger. Faith to faith and alla that (Romans 1:17). I’m gonna keep rehearsing the fact that I’ve been here before. And I’ve not been forsaken or begging bread (Psalm 37:25).

When He does it He will get the glory. That’s the point of it all anyway. So that He gets the glory out of my life. You got it Boss!

*The saga continues Waiting Is The Action But Patiently Is The Attitude*

Tricky Trust & Fickle Faith

There’s this guy I was talking to. He couldn’t remember stuff I told him to save his life. I asked him if he had amnesia or a memory problem.

I saw someone post online about the weight of the wait. They said they’re remembering what they’ve seen God do. Because they owe Him everything.

I’m currently waiting on God to do some stuff. I have been panicked at moments. I have questioned myself and worried about what’s going to happen.

It’s as if I have amnesia. I’ve trusted Him before in similar circumstances. I’ve had faith and it’s worked out because of the work I put into my faith.

But sometimes, for some reason, it’s hard to trust and have faith. Somehow we forget who He’s been. We forget what He’s done. The weight of the wait clouds our memory.

I am going to continue to do what I’ve had to do in these moments this week. Put his track record on display for myself. Contemplate who He has been. Consider what He has done. Compare then and now. Craft resolve.

Most importantly, go to the source material. Scripture is invaluable in these moments. And if I tell Him what He said, He is, by His own admission, duty bound to honor His Word.

I got this SOLELY BECAUSE He’s got this. And THAT is enough for me. 😊

*See Waiting Is The Action But Patiently Is The Attitude*

Proverbs 28 (The Message MSG)

If You Desert God’s Law

1 The wicked are edgy with guilt, ready to run off
    even when no one’s after them;
Honest people are relaxed and confident,
    bold as lions.

When the country is in chaos,
    everybody has a plan to fix it—
But it takes a leader of real understanding
    to straighten things out.

Huh.

The wicked who oppress the poor
    are like a hailstorm that beats down the harvest.

If you desert God’s law, you’re free to embrace depravity;
    if you love God’s law, you fight for it tooth and nail.

Justice makes no sense to the evilminded;
    those who seek God know it inside and out.

It’s better to be poor and direct
    than rich and crooked.

Practice God’s law—get a reputation for wisdom;
    hang out with a loose crowd—embarrass your family.

Get as rich as you want
    through cheating and extortion,
But eventually some friend of the poor
    is going to give it all back to them.

God has no use for the prayers
    of the people who won’t listen to him.

Wow. I could say more and have had thoughts similar. Wow is all I’ll say.

10 Lead good people down a wrong path
    and you’ll come to a bad end;
    do good and you’ll be rewarded for it.

11 The rich think they know it all,
    but the poor can see right through them.

12 When good people are promoted, everything is great,
    but when the bad are in charge, watch out!

13 You can’t whitewash your sins and get by with it;
    you find mercy by admitting and leaving them.

14 A tenderhearted person lives a blessed life;
    a hardhearted person lives a hard life.

15 Lions roar and bears charge—
    and the wicked lord it over the poor.

16 Among leaders who lack insight, abuse abounds,
    but for one who hates corruption, the future is bright.

17 A murderer haunted by guilt
    is doomed—there’s no helping him.

18 Walk straight—live well and be saved;
    a devious life is a doomed life.

Doing Great Harm in Seemingly Harmless Ways

19 Work your garden—you’ll end up with plenty of food;
    play and party—you’ll end up with an empty plate.

20 Committed and persistent work pays off;
    get-rich-quick schemes are ripoffs.

21 Playing favorites is always a bad thing;
    you can do great harm in seemingly harmless ways.

Man.

22 A miser in a hurry to get rich
    doesn’t know that he’ll end up broke.

23 In the end, serious reprimand is appreciated
    far more than bootlicking flattery.

24 Anyone who robs father and mother
    and says, “So, what’s wrong with that?”
    is worse than a pirate.

25 A grasping person stirs up trouble,
    but trust in God brings a sense of well-being.

26 If you think you know it all, you’re a fool for sure;
    real survivors learn wisdom from others.

27 Be generous to the poor—you’ll never go hungry;
    shut your eyes to their needs, and run a gauntlet of curses.

28 When corruption takes over, good people go underground,
    but when the crooks are thrown out, it’s safe to come out.

Proverbs 3

*Summary of The Message (MSG) version*

1-2: Don’t forget what we’ve been taught and take the commands to heart because they will help you live a long, full, well lived life.

It is important to remember the words of the Proverbs, but also the “words” of our lives. If we don’t keep in mind what we have been through and what we have learned, we are liable to have to endure it again. Cycles. Frustration. Wilderness. But, if we keep our lessons, what God has done for us, ever before us, we can move on and experience other things because we aren’t needlessly going through the same thing time and time again.

3-4: Maintain love and loyalty, tying them around our neck, carving their initials on our heart. Earn a reputation for living well in God and the people’s eyes

So interesting to me that love is mentioned as something we should maintain, along with loyalty, and carving their initials on our heart. Why? Because love for others, and his love for us, was so important to Jesus. It is all through the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). The Psalmist says they hide the Word in their heart that they might not sin against God (Psalm 119:11). God is love (1 John 4:7). The Word is God (John 1:1). So amazing how the Word confirms itself. It is important that we live well. Later, in 2 Corinthians 3:2, Paul tells us that we are epistles, letters, known and read of men.

5-12: Trust God from the bottom of our hearts, not trying to figure out things on our own. Listen for God’s voice in everything we do and wherever we go because He will keep us on track. Don’t assume we know everything. Run to god and from evil. Our bodies will glow healthily, bones will vibrate with life. Honor God with everything we own, giving him the first and best. We will have an abundance if we do. Don’t resent God’s discipline or take issue with His loving correction. He corrects us because he loves us.

The King James Version (KJV) says with all our heart. But seeing the bottom in the Message (MSG) version hit differently today. The bottom is the lowest part. It still means all. But seeing bottom means, to me today, with every single bit, with every last drop. With everything and all that you have. KJV says not to lean to our own understanding. The simplicity of the MSG version packs a different punch too. Leaning to our own understanding seems to speak to not doing what we know. Here, it is telling us not to be independent but depend on God. KJV says to acknowledge him in all our ways and He will direct our paths. This version is so much more thorough and intentional. Not just acknowledge Him, but also listen for His voice in EVERYTHING because he will keep us on track. This seems like it is saying be humble sit down. Hahaha. How great is it that if we run to God, we will have life and health? Giving God our first and best leading to abundance reminds me of Malachi 3 and the promise if we give tithes and offering.

13-18: Meeting wisdom is a blessing. Insight as our friend is worth more money in the bank, her friendship better than a big salary. Her value is more than what comes with wealth, nothing we desire compares to her. She gives long life on one hand and recognition on the other. She has a beautiful manner, with wonderful life that is complete, a tree of life if we embrace her. If we hold her tight we will be blessed.

I don’t know how much more even needs to be said. Wisdom and insight are so vital and important to us. We need to make sure we use wisdom and insight in all that we do.

19-20: God formed the earth with wisdom, raised heaven with insight. They knew when to signal rivers and springs to surface and dew to descend from night skies.

Same. Y’all. Same. But. How cool is God that He gives us what He used to create the world to enable us to live well and be in relationship with Him.

21-26: Guard clear thinking and common sense with our lives and don’t lose sight of them. They will keep our soul alive and well, us fit and attractive. We will have safe travel without tiring or tripping, napping without worry, sleeping well at night. We will not panic over alarms or surprises, predictions of doomsday because God will be with us keeping us safe and sound.

Being free from clutter and distraction in our mind, as well as having common sense, sets us up to live our best lives without stress and worry, without being tired and falling down. Duh. Lol.

27-29: Don’t abandon anyone who deserves help as we are God’s hand for them. Don’t put our neighbor off for later if we have the money. Don’t find ways to take advantage of a trusting, unsuspecting neighbor.

Hands and feet of Jesus. That’s what I thought. People say that’s what we should be as Christians. Facts. Jesus told us as much. Whatever we do unto those who need it we are doing unto him (Matthew 25:31-46).

30-32: Don’t have a chip on our shoulder looking to fight. Don’t shoulder our way through life being a bully because God can’t stand twisted souls. The straightforward get God’s respect.

I mean. What more is there to say? That’s not who God is. We are to be holy because He is holy (1 Peter 1:16). A bully ain’t that.

33-35: The house of the wicked are cursed by God but the home of the righteous is blessed. Proud skeptics are given a cold shoulder but those down on their luck receive help. Honor is given to wise living. Booby prizes are given to stupid living.

Reaping and sowing. Reaping and sowing. Galatians 6:7.

Do We Really Believe?

I’m listening to somebody sing an awesome song. I’ve conversed with them and they dont seem to trust the God they are singing about.

Jesus commissioned the disciples to do what he was doing. They watched him,earned from him, and then he said go to the people do what you’ve seen me do. (Mark 9:1-6)

A couple of them came back unable to cast a demon out. Jesus did it. The disciples asked why they couldn’t. Jesus said it was because of their unbelief. (Matthew 17:14-20)

It’s a puzzling, interesting thing that we go to church and hear sermons, hear songs, read the Bible, do all of this God-centric or God-adjacent stuff yet…

We don’t see the promises of God manifested. We look at the problem and not the problem solver.

We look at the wind and the waves and sink instead of focusing on the Savior in the middle of a miracle. (Matthew 14:25-30)

We create this hero who we don’t allow to become our friend. We create this Santa Claus but don’t fellowship with him. We create this genie but don’t allow him to lead and guide us.

We ask, but not according to his will. (1 John 5:14) So, we end up with issues. We don’t do what the Bible says do in, the way it says to do it in order to receive because we aren’t fully believing it. Why? Because our concept of who he is and how we should relate to him is skewed.

We aren’t taught or ignore the character and mind of who God truly is. If we don’t know how can we believe? Our relationship is a two way street

But, if we are conditioned to always ask, have our hand out, expect him to just do whatever we ask, we are disappointed. That affects our belief.

What a world this would be if we allowed the Word and the giver of that word to come alive in our lives. What a world this would be if we invited him in and gave him control. What a world it would be if we simply, truly believed.