To quote India.Arie’s The Truth, there’s a blessing in every lesson.
Failure can teach us more than success at times.
Failure shows us who we are.
Failure shows us where we went wrong and how to get it right.
When done right, failure brings us closer to God. He shows us who He is and how is is capable of helping us get it right.
We gotta try. And if it doesn’t work, assess, take stock, learn, and try again.
Failure is fruitful.
Failure shows us what we are capable of.
Dust off those failures and go win!
“What if I don’t get into law school? What if I don’t pass the bar?”
I vividly remember uttering those words as a 16 or 17 year old child half my life ago. As far back as the 7th grade, I knew I wanted to be a lawyer.
I don’t think it’s because my dad is one. He never practiced full time. I just felt, and feel, it suits my personality. Also, depending on the field of choice, lawyers have the ability to help and bring about change.
It took me a while and some detours, but I made it to and through law school this time last year.
I said I couldn’t take the bar in February because that was too close to my finishing school. I was going to take it in July but I said I didn’t feel like I was retaining the information.
I signed up to take it this February. But I’ve been flirting with not taking it or only taking it once and reevaluating my goals if I fail.
When I talk about taking the bar my response has been if I pass.
But here’s the thing. As a Christian, this is in direct conflict with one of the main pillars of my belief system. Faith is a requirement to walk out this relationship thing with Jesus.
Faith has gotten me here. I had to have faith after being rejected, wait-listed, and accepted with no money to makr the choice to apply for the 4th time two years later.
I had to have faith after I was a horrible student and received a letter stating that I was in jeopardy of being dismissed from school based on my GPA.
Yet, I think that teenager still lives on the inside. I never really struggled until college. And that was minute compared to law school. The bar is a beast that is entirely different from anything I have ever done.
But all these faith scriptures pop up in my head. Not to mention, my coworker question if being a lawyer was my passion versus my plan yesterday.
I believe it’s the tool to walk out my passion. I’m gonna evaluate that. But I am going to take the bar in February.
And who knows. Maybe the issue isn’t fear so much as not wanting to have to pay aaaaaaaaaaall the money it costs to take it again.
This was my Facebook on this day yesterday: failure is merely [a]n opportunity for another chance to do something better the next time. I don’t think I should embrace this in this instance.
I don’t want to fail. I’m going to push this fear as far back as I can. And set myself up to succeed.
That is a powerful couple of words. Sometimes it’s so hard to just “do you.” We are conditioned to cater to and pander to others. It’s part of our human nature. We seek approval and validation outside of ourselves in others. It is natural to desire praise and recognition for what it is that we do.
It is also dangerous to depend on others to create how we see ourselves. By giving people permission, the keys, to dictate our worth and our value we become prisoners to their fickle, human minds. By giving others the keys we unintentionally allow them the authority over all of who we are.
By allowing others and the world to tell us how great or horrible we are, we get on a wheel, a merry-go-round, a seemingly unending cycle. Once we allow another or a thing to control us, once we seek permission from others to be who and what we are, they/it will never be satisfied. They will always want more. One day we will look up and be shattered remnants of the person we once were.
By being unwilling to “do you” when no one looks or applauds we are holding captive the passion and what we were created to do. As individuals, we should seek to be free. Free to follow our hearts. Free to follow our passions. Free to fulfill what we were created to do. Free to be happy. Free to have joy.
Society places an emphasis on external measures of success and beauty. Society says we have to look a certain way, act a certain way, wear certain things, own certain things, talk a certain way or we just aren’t good enough.
I submit that we are all good enough. We are all beautiful enough. We are all talented enough. We just have to own our own keys. We have to be willing to “do you” no matter what.
I don’t men be rude, ruthless, mean, cutthroat, or disrespectful. While we “do you” it is imperative that we value us enough to value others. Poor behavior is often indicative of poor self-worth. If we can’t treat others well while we “do you” we cannot “do you” well. We may lie to ourselves and justify our behavior.
But there is a conscious effort we make when we “do you” and being ourselves that, when done with the purest of motives, will not allow us to “do you” at the expense of others. Sure, people appear to be successful who have done it at the expense of others. But those people often live with regrets and that success comes at a price they may be unwilling to pay if they had it to do over.
So today, I challenge us to “do you.” Even if nobody notices. Even if nobody ever recognizes it. The self-satisfaction in being true to our authentic selves will far outweigh anything any other person could ever give us. People’s accolades are temporary. The internal power, strength, and love that we receive from our decision to “do you” far outweighs anything any other person can give.
“Do you” boo!