Happy Valentine’s Day To Me
Thought I’d dust my ‘pen’ off
And write myself a letter
Using the original love letter
He loved me so much
He gave me his best
Fearfully and wonderfully made
Beautiful in His image
He loved me before time began
Knew me before I was formed
Saw me, chose me
Even when I’m by myself
I’m never alone
He never leaves
Rejoices over me with gladness
Quiets me with His love
Exalts over me with singing
Saw on Insta
God isn’t my Valentine
He is the I Am
Whatever I need
I’ll give her that though
Cuz He’s so much more
I could stay here all day
So much to say
But words will never suffice
With all that He is
I am enough
Ion need another human
At least not simply to flex
On a commercial holiday
If I’m not ready
He’s not ready
I don’t want it
But let me tell you this
He has big shoes to fill
I gotta follow him
As he follows Christ
Did you read this?
What about the Good Book?
God speed to him!
I told someone about that last post. They went in on me. I didn’t say much back. I had thoughts but didn’t share them.
First, I said we as Christians in the post. I probably should have said some of us. The we I was talking about is the we I know personally.
I was told that Christmas is the only time some people all gather collectively. I was told that’s when people forgive and heal and mend.
I was told that coming together honors God because he’s about family. I was told that it is a time of love-or something like that.
I was told that there are people who focus solely on Jesus or their higher power around the world.
I think I was told that it shouldn’t be all Jesus and praying and calling his name all day.
I said Happy Winter Solstice. I was told that the solstice is steeped in witchcraft. I said that makes the addition of Christmas at that time of year WORSE!!!!!
I was told more but don’t remember.
Again, I was a slight punk and didn’t respond much. I was told that I had a point after all of the other stuff.
My reply now? Why are we waiting until the whole year has passed to make time for our family? If God is all about family, should we not make more time?
Why are we waiting until the whole year has passed to mend and heal and forgive? Should we not be loving on each other more?
The big one. Why can we not take a day, a fast of sorts, not at Christmas cuz ya know, to sit in the miracle that is the birth of Jesus?
He did, and does, SOOOOOOOOO much for us. The sacrifice of a day meditating, living solemnly, with what he did ever before our minds seems like a small thing in the grand scheme of things.
But hey. That’s just me. Different strokes for different folks.
I am a rebel of sorts. Just because it’s been done a certain way forever doesn’t mean it has to be that way forever.
There are things I examine and question. If it doesn’t make sense, I’m not down for it.
I’m not here for perpetuating stuff cuz it “worked” for someone else. I could care less if I’m the odd one out.
I’ve tried fitting in. It still didn’t go well. So. I have decided to just do me while others do them.
So, I already discussed why Christmas is canceled. But I have more thoughts about it today.
When we, as Christians, celebrate Christmas, some of us make sure we read the story of his birth before opening gifts. My family does. We’ll be on zoom in like 40 mins. I’m cool with reading the scripture cuz scripture.
Some of us go to church first thing in the morning. There are a myriad of things done to honor or celebrate Jesus first.
And then come other people’s gifts under a decorated tree and in a hung stocking on the day we commemorate his birthday.
Then we eat, sleep, watch basketball, play with toys, do things with gifts, call and text all around country and world, and whatever else.
It’s as though the celebration of his birth is one thing on a list of things to do. When, in actuality, whenever one chooses to celebrate him should be an event.
It should be a solemn occasion, set aside only for him. Where he is first. Where he is the only focus and focal point.
We should take the time and space to be in reverential awe that God created a miracle just for us to save us.
That’s the problem today though. God is just something to do. He’s, at times, an afterthought. Insead of first. Instead of placed on the throne as the King and Lord of our lives.
Could it be that the reason we don’t believe, we don’t see him move, is because we don’t keep him high and lifted? Because we don’t keep him on the throne? We don’t look up at the glory and majesty that is Him? Because we have made him small and common?
I don’t wanna do the easy thing and what’s always been done. I don’t want to minimize and trivialize the birth of my Savior because some man named Constantine attempted to co-opt something that was never for or about Jesus.
But hey, if you choose to celebrate, enjoy! Just remember who this is supposed to be about.
I am grateful to see the end of the year mostly unscathed.
I lost a family member to the rona.
Four family members definitely recovered. One likely recovered.
A childhood friend’s mom was lost to the rona.
An asthmatic family member lost their life due to a chemical reaction.
I lost an uncle due to a variety of health issues.
An uncle was rushed to the hospital, and though serious, it wasn’t as bad as was thought.
Two coworkers and a boss tested positive for the rona and have recovered.
I am no longer on speaking terms with my father. 21 years of foolishness resulted in my departure-at his prodding-for my peace of mind.
Endured the craziest three point five weeks with a male I have ever experienced in the middle of a pandemic.
Left some friends-acquaintances-alone.
Left some family members alone.
Reconnected with some friends I let go.
Made a new friend.
Made some new connections.
Followed purpose with expectation of fulfilled vision-from years ago. Not a catchy 2020 gimmick.
Realized some things that I needed to work on and change.
Saw some growth.
2020 was wild.
But the BEST thing? Focusing on the best friend I’ll ever have, my big brother, my Lord, my Savior.
I’ve been coasting and on autopilot. When Jesus and I are cool, winds and waves don’t play.
I ended this year forced to look to him.
It’s been wild.
But it’s been worth it.
Here’s to 2021.
A multiple of seven.
Biblical meaning of completion.
I expect Jesus to complete some things.
I expect craziness. It wouldn’t be my life without some tests and trials.
I know who’s got me.
I don’t expect easy.
But I expect peace. I expect joy. I expect good things-no matter how it looks or feels.
Cuz I rock with the one who can speak to whatever I face.
I am never alone or forsaken.
That alone makes it well with my soul.
Spent so much time looking for a savior
Searching for a hero to rescue me
Longing for unconditional love
To be seen, valued, treasured
Wanting to matter, belong
Trying to be a round peg
In an undersized square hole
Thinking if I changed me
They would be happy
Only it was too hard
To change what mattered most
Looking back now
I could have pushed
And tried to changed the easier part
But the easier part
Was a coping mechanism
For the parts I buried and hid
Who I am refused to die
It wouldn’t be buried or denied
My savior saved me again
Became my hero and rescued me