The past two months have been interesting and a bit much.
Hence my slacking on what I planned on doing.
I am not the best with structure and sticking to a schedule. I did a great job for a while.
But then things changed. I was doing well at first. Then I totally fell off. I have not adjusted the best.
Cuz life man.
But the great thing is that I can learn and reflect and figure out how to get everything done.
Just because life comes and changes our plans doesn’t mean we have to quit on stuff or even ourselves.
We can evaluate and make a new game plan and still be great.
Let’s not focus on the perceived failure but focus on what it teaches us and where we can go.
I def didn’t mean to disappear. But life has been life. I think I’m gonna just continue to let life be and get back to it at the beginning of April.
However. I had a concrete, postable (is that even a word?!) thought earlier so I’m heeeeeeere!
There are, at times, cataclysmic events, people, seasons, and/or situations that shake the foundation, core, plates of our lives just like an earthquake.
Like legit. An earthquake is the moving and shifting of the tectonic plates in the earth’s crust. Far from where our eyes see, there is pressure at fault lines (thanks for the refresher Google and wiki) that causes the plates to grind and shift.
Some earthquakes are felt and some are not. Some we see evidence of and some we do not. But no matter what, something happened and left the earth forever changed.
The biggest earthquakes have visible changes, disturbances in roads resulting in cracks and sinkholes. Houses and buildings destroyed from the foundation up. Not to mention destruction of their contents. Water main breaks. Gas lines destroyed. Havoc wreaked on power lines. Death. The list is endless.
The smaller ones exist but, much like the daily rotation of the earth, we don’t necessarily see or feel them at the moment. But, as sure as winter turns to spring, summer, and fall, leaves and flowers, daylight and darkness, nothing stays the same.
Not to mention the aftershocks or shockwaves. Those tend to be worse and far more dangerous than the earthquake itself. Things are already out of whack and perilous. And here comes more shaking to add to the destruction.
For us, cataclysmically, death, loss, life, addition, quakes us. Changes us. Would seemingly destroy us. Or make us better.
If we stay at the quake we miss out on the beauty of it. If we hold on to whatever it is, good or bad, we don’t make room for the goodness that can come of it.
Being stagnant is not always a standstill in grief. Sometimes we think we have arrived at the best we’ve ever had and as good as we think it’s gonna get. So. Out of an abundance of caution, we park there so we don’t risk it or lose it. Never mind the possibility of more or better.
There is something to rebuilding though. Processing the event. Learning from it. Growing from it. Mourning or celebrating. Grieving or rejoicing. Going through what the earthquake brought you and putting it into proper perspective. Learning the lesson and accepting the gift.
All life really is is a collection of moments sewn together to make a well-used, patchwork quilt. It is up to us to determine what we do with the pieces and how we embrace or even use what is sewn together.
To quote India.Arie’s The Truth, there’s a blessing in every lesson.
Failure can teach us more than success at times.
Failure shows us who we are.
Failure shows us where we went wrong and how to get it right.
When done right, failure brings us closer to God. He shows us who He is and how is is capable of helping us get it right.
We gotta try. And if it doesn’t work, assess, take stock, learn, and try again.
Failure is fruitful.
Failure shows us what we are capable of.
Dust off those failures and go win!
I hate wasting food. I hate when people waste food.
There are people starving. That’s a waste if money and resources.
And don’t let me have spent time preparing the food being wasted. Gaaaaaah.
That made me think of the spiritual food we waste.
We read the Bible. We listen to sermons. We endure tests and trials. We have lessons sent by God.
And yet. We don’t do anything with it. Or we don’t keep at it. Wasteful.
If I am irritated by the waste of vittles, I wonder how God feels about our waste of Him and His Word.
How does He feel about us not choosing to be good ground, or good stewards?
I challenge us to keep His Word and provision ever before us. What He gives is too good and too important to waste.
If You Quit Listening
1 Better to be poor and honest than a rich person no one can trust.
2 Ignorant zeal is worthless; haste makes waste.
3 People ruin their lives by their own stupidity, so why does God always get blamed?
4 Wealth attracts friends as honey draws flies, but poor people are avoided like a plague.
5 Perjury won’t go unpunished. Would you let a liar go free?
6 Lots of people flock around a generous person;
everyone’s a friend to the philanthropist.
7 When you’re down on your luck, even your family avoids you—yes, even your best friends wish you’d get lost. If they see you coming, they look the other way—out of sight, out of mind.
8 Grow a wise heart—you’ll do yourself a favor; keep a clear head—you’ll find a good life.
9 The person who tells lies gets caught; the person who spreads rumors is ruined.
10 Blockheads shouldn’t live on easy street any more than workers should give orders to their boss.
11 Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget.
12 Mean-tempered leaders are like mad dogs; the good-natured are like fresh morning dew.
13 A parent is worn to a frazzle by an irresponsible child; a nagging spouse is a leaky faucet.
14 House and land are handed down from parents,
but a congenial spouse comes straight from God.
15 Life collapses on loafers; lazybones go hungry.
16 Keep the rules and keep your life; careless living kills.
17 Mercy to the needy is a loan to God, and God pays back those loans in full.
18 Discipline your children while you still have the chance; indulging them destroys them.
19 Let angry people endure the backlash of their own anger; if you try to make it better, you’ll only make it worse.
20 Take good counsel and accept correction—that’s the way to live wisely and well.
21 We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails.
22 It’s only human to want to make a buck, but it’s better to be poor than a liar.
23 Fear-of-God is life itself, a full life, and serene—no nasty surprises.
24 Some people dig a fork into the pie but are too lazy to raise it to their mouth.
25 Punish the insolent—make an example of them.
Who knows? Somebody might learn a good lesson.
26 Kids who lash out against their parents are an embarrassment and disgrace.
27 If you quit listening, dear child, and strike off on your own, you’ll soon be out of your depth.
28 An unprincipled witness desecrates justice;
the mouths of the wicked spew malice.
29 The irreverent have to learn reverence the hard way; only a slap in the face brings fools to attention.
Ok. So I’m having some people problems. It seems as though folk don’t like me. And to be honest I don’t really care for them either. But I have to put up with them. I can’t get around it.
But I want to avoid them as much as possible. I think I’m giving them too much control. I can’t say anything to them. But I haven’t had the strength to smile when I want to say something or when they have irked me. I haven’t had the strength to pretend.
I’ve had to be okay with being mistreated and disrespected. I’m tired. I spent so much of my life pretending. And I’m tired of pretending. It’s hard when people can say or do whatever with no immediate consequences. It would not be a good look for me to express how I feel. I’ve tried that. They are obstinate and not required to change.
I have to change. And I’m tried of having to make other people comfortable with who I am. I get that I may need to improve. I’m not perfect and necer will be. But when you have a problem with me and I feel like you do the same thing and worse…and when everybody doesn’t have the problem. You and your clique have the problem…and you seem to look for a problem. And I’m not the only one guilty of the same offenses…just the only one you have a problem with.
It’s all part of this war. Some days, like today, I feel like I’m losing. Some days I think I’m imagining the problem and it’s not as bad or really what I think. I honestly think some mind games are going on. I’m going to have to cast down some imaginations and things that are exalting themselves.
What I know for sure is that this is going to make me better and God is going to get the glory. I’m not above wishing that this would hurry up and be over. I’m not above wanting this lesson, test, trial, season, process, attack, whatever it is to just end. I have the victory because Christ overcame so I can overcome. I just don’t feel victorious…