Tag Archives: growth

Clean or Nah

First off. These are huge. Second. There are pictures of dirt and trash. Look away if you want. It will make sense in the end.

I was at someone’s home who has a dog. But the dog gets sick if it eats random crap. In order to let the dog be free and not get fussed at for eating stuff, I decided to vacuum the floor where the dog is allowed to roam.

As I vacuumed, it seemed like it wasn’t picking up what I was vacuuming. As you can see below, the tank looked empty. I was confused. So, I took it off and looked inside. All of that clumped stuff in the middle was in the hole on the vacuum and in the part that connects one of the hoses.

Since I cleaned the vacuum, I decided to just sweep up what was left after picking up the clumps. No need in dirtying up what I had JUST cleaned with the same dirt.

I put the vacuum back together and swept the carpet. I took the vacuum apart again and this is what I saw.

Now at first, I thought maybe I had missed all of that in the tank. But when I looked at the pictures again, I didn’t think that was the case. I think that is a bunch of dog hair.

That is what the filter looked like. I had a bag less vacuum and when it got dirty I washed off the filter. I decided to do that this time too.

I think I failed to upload a pic. Ion care. I’m not going to. Just know, it looked better when I applied water before applying any soap. This pic is after water and soap.

I told the person I washed it and they questioned me since it was going to get dirty again. They said they never thought to clean it. I let them know that I had before and at least it would be clean.

I have had several thoughts and lessons flit, come through my mind while typing this and intially forever ago when I created the post.

First of all. We may look clean but there is a whole lot of mess and stuff in us. If we don’t clean it out we will not work properly. Huh. Sounds similar to what I just wrote in Still There. This was a draft before that. I guess I had the same thought again though since it got published first.

Second. If there is more than one way to do something, and you have made progress with one way, why not try it another way? Aaaaaand. If you have cleaned up one area, don’t just mess it up again because it is easy to do what you have done.

I could have just vacuumed up the leftover dirt from pulling the packed dirt out. But why? A broom and dust pan is just as effective. I didn’t just do what was easy or what I had done and plug it back in and vacuum it back up.

Third. If we do use the same methods, go the same way, we may just have to clean again. But in a different way. Some different issue or consequence will arise. We don’t necessarily reap the way we sow or reap the same way we have reaped before (Galatians 6:7-8). I used the same vacuum on a different surface in a different area. I thought I missed the dirt. But, upon further inspection, it was different dirt in a different area of the vacuum.

Fourth and finally, just because all looked well and clean, that was NOT the case. In the pic of the trash can, it appears that the filter may just be dirty from the way I dumped the tank. However, upon further inspection when I flipped it, it was FILTHY. It was hidden.

What are we hiding? What have we cleaned some, cleaned one way, given to God some, given to Him one way but left dirty, held on to? He knows it ALL. Just give it ALL to Him. He wants it. He can handle it. Let Him be God! Let Him give us what He has promised us!

Galatians 6:9 (KJV) promises us good news: let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

I did not give up. I kept looking and made sure I found all of the dirt. I didn’t wash or wipe the whole thing. Just the filter. But my diligence, persistence, the fact that I kept going, ensured that the vacuum was cleaner and capable of functioning properly. Unlike the condition I found it.

Fooling with the vacuum wasn’t that hard. Examining myself sometimes is. I don’t always wanna act right. I don’t always wanna say the right thing. I just wanna be in my lil fleshly feelings. I mess up.

However, I am doing the hard work of trying to emulate, be like my friend, my brother, my lord, my savior, my Jesus. It has not been easy. It has hurt. It has been confusing. Like why that thang was dirty but I saw nothing.

But guess what? I see change. I see growth. I am obtaining the fruit of the spirit. I am hearing from God and getting alla this revelation in ways I wasn’t before.

I am cleaning my life, my relationships, my emotions, my mind, what I consume (entertainment, food, and conversation). I am making room and space for my relationship with Jesus.

Like I said the other day, it looks a mess on the outside. But, to me, this is the best life I have lived thus far. I’m content in the state I find myself in (Philippians 4:11).

Magic

Hate to break it to us…the change of the year isn’t some magic spell.

I’ve said I was ready for the new year, throw 2020 away. It’s been team too much.

What I’ve come to realize and understand about this year is so simply profound.

Some of us lost some stuff to grow. Some of us won some stuff to grow.

Regardless, the mere fact that we have made it through 2020 en route to 2021 is a miraculous blessing in and of itself.

Of all the things I’ve learned, the one I think matters most is this: miracles aren’t always big, huge, events.

The scale moving in the right direction was a miracle.

Keeping my mouth closed when I wouldn’t have before is a miracle.

Letting people go was a miracle.

Apologizing and welcoming people back was a miracle.

Forgiving was a miracle.

Moving forward in immense pain under stress was a miracle.

So, no, no magic in less than 12 hours. But another opportunity for another miracle.

20. 20.

I am grateful to see the end of the year mostly unscathed.

I lost a family member to the rona.

Four family members definitely recovered. One likely recovered.

A childhood friend’s mom was lost to the rona.

An asthmatic family member lost their life due to a chemical reaction.

I lost an uncle due to a variety of health issues.

An uncle was rushed to the hospital, and though serious, it wasn’t as bad as was thought.

Two coworkers and a boss tested positive for the rona and have recovered.

I am no longer on speaking terms with my father. 21 years of foolishness resulted in my departure-at his prodding-for my peace of mind.

Endured the craziest three point five weeks with a male I have ever experienced in the middle of a pandemic.

Left some friends-acquaintances-alone.

Left some family members alone.

Reconnected with some friends I let go.

Made a new friend.

Made some new connections.

Followed purpose with expectation of fulfilled vision-from years ago. Not a catchy 2020 gimmick.

Realized some things that I needed to work on and change.

Saw some growth.

Chose myself.

2020 was wild.

But the BEST thing? Focusing on the best friend I’ll ever have, my big brother, my Lord, my Savior.

I’ve been coasting and on autopilot. When Jesus and I are cool, winds and waves don’t play.

I ended this year forced to look to him.

Best decision.

It’s been wild.

But it’s been worth it.

Here’s to 2021.

A multiple of seven.

Biblical meaning of completion.

I expect Jesus to complete some things.

I expect craziness. It wouldn’t be my life without some tests and trials.

I know who’s got me.

I don’t expect easy.

But I expect peace. I expect joy. I expect good things-no matter how it looks or feels.

Cuz I rock with the one who can speak to whatever I face.

I am never alone or forsaken.

That alone makes it well with my soul.