Waiting Is The Action But Patiently Is The Attitude

On 5-15-22 Bishop S.Y. Younger preached a message titled The Waiting Conflict. I decided that day, before he even preached, to leave where I was living to move to VA to join his church. After 10 years of visiting churches and never joining one. Almost did twice. But nah. Lol. The plan was to stop elsewhere in the meantime.

The message was good. I’m gonna watch it again. Because I had no idea it was prophetic for me.

I did write down the title of this blog because that was so good to me.

I hate applying for jobs. I started applying for them immediately. I believed it was possible to have a job offer by Thursday.

I got a call Wednesday for a job interview Friday. I was so excited.

The interview went well. People were happy for me and were claiming the job. Something, the Holy Spirit likely, in me didn’t think I would get the job.

I didn’t. I wasn’t surprised. Maybe a touch disappointed.

I had an issue with my car but was under the impression it wasn’t urgent. Well. Almost as soon as I got off the interstate after returning from the interview, I had to stomp on the brakes.

So frustrating. My car is my office. I do gig work and need my car to work. That was an impossibility.

However, I had a credit card coming. I was gonna use it for tires. I also had some money I didn’t know sitting in an account. I was gonna wait to get it. But, I went ahead and set things in motion. I had a car payment due too.

I had this title in my mind and spirit. I wanted to wait well. I’ve been in a situation where things looked dire but God provided. Sometimes it’s hard to remember where you’ve been when you’re in something new if you aren’t in the habit of rehearsing who God has been.

I had to calm myself multiple times. But I felt like I was waiting patiently and well. But the stuff wasn’t in hand or account.

I got an email about a tracker for the money in the account but I couldn’t find the tracker. I called and the rep said that was an extra layer of security. I was incredulous. 3-5 business days started over.

I made a comment about it and the rep just kept repeating that it was an extra security measure. I told him I had to go before I got frustrated and rude. Something like that. I’m trying to do better and be better. I felt something rising.

I asked my mom to see if someone she knew knew a mechanic. I was trying to be cheap (see Cheap Isn’t Always Better). She got me some info and I talked to someone. We set Friday as the time he’d come. I’m thinking the money or the credit card would arrive by then.

I messaged him and got no response. I called and got no response. I priced cv axles. And I called a couple places. The one that actually gave me a quote over the phone was way more expensive than I considered for labor and parts. The labor price was cool. But, I wanted to spend wisely and not have to spend more in the long run so I decided to just let them do it. The warranty of it all.

At this point, it’s Thursday. I was told they wouldn’t be able to get to my car until Tuesday. I decided to go ahead and have it towed.

I started the process of having my car towed at one something Thursday afternoon. It took like five attempts. Ima be honest, I did lose it at one point. I was slightly rude in my frustration.

I told the first person that I had a destination in mind. He told me to tell the service provider when they arrived. I called the service provider to make sure they were doing what I needed. I also had a flat tire I wanted changed (I had a slow leak for forever and all the tires are used. Hence new tires. That bad boy finally conked out.) and a tow. He said they were only doing a tow and they couldn’t change the destination. He canceled and I did too.

I called back and got a new one scheduled. I was told they can only do one thing per request. I was fine with that. Just tow it. They scheduled it correctly for the place I wanted it to go. I had an estimated time of like an hour and fifteen minutes to two hours. Ion remember. I was a grip though.

The time came and went. I called my insurance company. They called the service provider. I would have called them myself like I did the first one. But I didn’t receive any contact info.

He was gone for a few minutes then said the people wouldn’t answer. He said that he would get another provider or something like that. He got me on the books again. But he didn’t pay attention to the location. He just picked one and didn’t ensure it went to the same place.

I think I was a lil rude to him. And that was before I realized what he did. Because I was frustrated and I needed to be able to leave. And the shop closed at 5:30. I then canceled it again and called back. I went outside so I didn’t have to hear my sister tell me how to handle it. Cuz she def said something about my tone. She was right.

I spoke with someone who was supposedly getting it together but asked to speak to a supervisor before he finished. Mistake. I admit I was impatient with him. He was asking questions the other ppl didn’t ask. Time was closing in. He seemed to be taking his sweet precious time.

I had been holding it together all week. I was losing my grasp on that control. I hung up and decided a supervisor could wait. I never got confirmation. I called back. Nothing was on the books. I was frustrated still.

The rep said I could just schedule the service. I got off the phone and said I would call back. I called the auto body shop and she said I could just let the driver drop it and the key after hours. That made it better. I told her about my tire.

I had stuff from my car in my sister’s garage but she said something about the garage being used over the weekend so I decied to take it to storage which is one of the things I already needed to do.

My mom told me she had stuff in her trunk and may have said something about putting it in her car. I don’t know because I was on the phone. Frustrated already. Frustrated still. I think she had a tone too. Cuz she stays having one. Or, it could have, just in this instance, been imagined bc of where I was emotionally and mentally.

I ended up taking my spare tire out and putting it on the floor of my backseat and putting the stuff back in my trunk. I told the rep at the shop that the spare was there and they could put the rim there after they changed it.

I finally called back for a tow for the evening. I got contact info. It was the same place that supposedly ghosted. Nope. They were behind and the insurance ppl don’t like to hold. I got an eta that would have been fine.

The car was at my sister’s and I am staying somewhere else. But my mom was cool to give the ppl the the key. It kept getting later and later. I was told they had a lot of tows and they are a small operation. They said I could schedule it for the morning.

I decided to do that because my mom didn’t answer after one of the eta updates. I scheduled it for when she would be home at 7-7:30.

You know what happened at this point right? It got delayed. I asked my mom to come get me. She said she would be late for work if she did. I asked the person I’m staying with if her daughter could drop me off. She said yes. But her daughter wouldn’t wake up. She then said I could just drive her car.

Then my mom says she would wait and just be late. I asked her if that was the case why couldn’t she just come get me. She said she didn’t think of that and asked what I wanted. I told her to come get me.

I called the tow company because we wouldn’t be at the house for the new time. He said he’d have the guy call on his way. Which ended up being almost another hour after the new eta. Also. I’m pretty sure my mom wasn’t even late to work. Loot at God!

The person who towed my car told me about a cheaper shop. He also told me they are based like an hour away. Crazy to me that the insurance company isn’t contracting with more people who are local.

Now that I think about it, they probably do. But for me and my life and the lessons in this, I had to get this company.

So the mechanic calls me and asks what’s going on. He says he’ll take a look and call me. In the meantime, it’s been nine of the 7-10 days for the credit card. I gotta pay to get the car back.

It hasn’t arrived to me because it was sent to my aunt’s house. It must have been a default or auto fill address. The only reason I thought about it is because I accidentally sent something else there recently. Sure enough. And with Memorial Day I couldn’t even rush the card.

I texted the mechanic Saturday and got no response. It is now Tuesday. I didn’t even bother with it yesterday because of the holiday. I admit. I have panicked with worst case scenarios in my head. Nonsensical bc what are they gonna do? I am definitely calling around eight when they open up.

I haven’t had much success with all the job apps I put in. I have attempted to question if I heard God or if it was just me. I hate ppl, me included, lying on God. I try to be very careful when I invoke Him when discussing what I heard, felt, or am gonna do.

I believe I did. I believe I’ve received confirmation and reassurance. It only takes one job. I’m in the middle of an application process for one. Several others are government jobs. Those move slowly.

I am trying my level best to patiently wait well. It’s hard being out here with a goal and no concrete plan to achieve it. To have no money coming in. To be at the mercy of others.

But, I haven’t gone hungry, homeless, or without my needs being met. I have been in similar situations multiple times before. This is already long enough. Lol.

And honestly. It wouldn’t be faith or trust if I could see how I am going to get there.

So. I’m gonna pray. I’m gonna rehearse what He’s done and what He said. I think I will call about my money again though. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ Also, Tricky Trust & Fickle Faith and He πŸ‘πŸΎ Did πŸ‘πŸΎ It πŸ‘πŸΎ Before πŸ‘πŸΎ are companion blogs. Happy reading.

Though we may not like how, He’s never failed and He won’t start now!

*The last two Where Is My Money and Conclusion Of The Whole Matter*

Tricky Trust & Fickle Faith

There’s this guy I was talking to. He couldn’t remember stuff I told him to save his life. I asked him if he had amnesia or a memory problem.

I saw someone post online about the weight of the wait. They said they’re remembering what they’ve seen God do. Because they owe Him everything.

I’m currently waiting on God to do some stuff. I have been panicked at moments. I have questioned myself and worried about what’s going to happen.

It’s as if I have amnesia. I’ve trusted Him before in similar circumstances. I’ve had faith and it’s worked out because of the work I put into my faith.

But sometimes, for some reason, it’s hard to trust and have faith. Somehow we forget who He’s been. We forget what He’s done. The weight of the wait clouds our memory.

I am going to continue to do what I’ve had to do in these moments this week. Put his track record on display for myself. Contemplate who He has been. Consider what He has done. Compare then and now. Craft resolve.

Most importantly, go to the source material. Scripture is invaluable in these moments. And if I tell Him what He said, He is, by His own admission, duty bound to honor His Word.

I got this SOLELY BECAUSE He’s got this. And THAT is enough for me. 😊

*See Waiting Is The Action But Patiently Is The Attitude*