He’s A God Of Answered Prayer

Sometimes we do too much. The most. We stay asking for all kinds of stuff. We don’t even remember all the prayers we pray. Cuz we pray seeking what we want and not the perfect will of God.

I have wanted to go home since May. I finally made it the other day cuz I was gonna get my uncle to help me buy a car. I feel like I prayed and got the okay to go. I think I was okay with not getting a car if I couldn’t.

I was set on one particular car. It was trash. So we went to the dealership where I got my last car. I was fairly confident I wasn’t going to be able to get financing cuz of this weird place I’m in in transition and other reasons.

While I sat in the dealership for forever, I came to the conclusion that bus and lyft life would be fine. Eventually, (like maybe after I left) I remembered praying like two years ago about not wanting a car payment and wanting to get rid of my car. I tried to trade with my sister and everything.

It wasn’t time to get rid of it. I still needed the blessing of it that it was when I got it though it was becoming a burden. I determined to have peace about the situation with having to keep the car and then the accident two years later. As a result, I was blessed beyond measure.

I wanted a cash car and was gonna get a payment if I had to. But I couldn’t. God honored the blessing of no car payment. And then I also realized that I am no longer going to be able to do what I do while doing instacart. But I can in the street and on the bus and in the lyft. The hands and feet of Jesus of it all.

Reading John Hannah’s “Just Pray” drove home the scatteredness (chiiiii I probably just made that up. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ bahahahahaha) of our prayer life and needing to pray His will.

Peace is a gift but we have to work at it some times. Just like faith. If I didn’t seek the why I would have been frustrated about not having a car. Like I said, there are more reasons I’ve discovered. But I am determined to be in His perfect will.

I’m gonna examine me, my previous prayers, and what’s going on in my life to discover His will and maintain my peace. That requires prayer. And He will answer. Cuz He is a God of answered prayer.

Go be great. Someone is counting on it. And it just might be you. 😊❀

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#WhatDoesTheBibleSay

I’ve been better about this lil siesta. But there are clearly a few things this turtle needs to pop out for.

The other day I put this hashtag on something I said on Insta and FB.

We do and say so many things that are not Biblical.

We have catchy phrases, nice lil concepts, and all kinds of things.

But, my question to us is, what does the Bible say?

I get He’s an innovative God and we have different methods. That’s not what I’m talking about.

The way we walk out our faith. The way we position and present ourselves. The justification for some of what we do. How we teach and preach Scripture. How we love. How we live our lives. How we interact. How we lead. How we serve.

I have come to the conclusion that I gotta involve God in everything. I’m not as good as I could be yet. But I see progress. And when things go awry, are messed up, I can pinpoint and point to the fact that I didn’t necessarily consult God.

And baaaaaaybeeeee. It is so important in the times we are living in to seek Him for every single thing. No matter how small. He’s in the details.

Case in point. I wanted to share something with someone but this lil isolation siesta prohibited it. But guess what? My pastor mentioned it. That blew me away. I took that to God and He, just a few days later, ensured that the message made it where it needed to go.

He cares about it all and wants it all. The Bible exists for a reason. We should be far more familiar with and far more focused on it than we are. Somewhere it says line upon line precept upon precept. Look that up. I may be out of context. But. Our lives should be guided by and in line with the Bible.

Period.

And if we are confused about the why of it all, simply ask the question I started out with: what does the Bible say?

Go be great. God demands it. He, you, and people in this world are waiting on it, counting on it.

You Can’t Die Here

We sat on the tarmac more than 30 minutes after our departure was scheduled to take place.

I was so tired that I fell asleep and only realized this fact as we prepared to take off.

Once we were in the air, our flight could have been mistaken for a rollercaster ride.

I prayed but then I had some thoughts.

One, Jesus slept on the boat during a storm. Writing this reminds me of when He walked on water during another storm.

Two, I haven’t seen what God said or what God showed me. I can’t die until the words He spoke are manifested in the earth. Cuz His word can’t return to Him void πŸ—£ (that’s some Scripture to look up). It HAS TO accomplish what it was sent to.

So, I closed my eyes and smirked as we shook and bounced as other people expressed discomfort.

I have a peace about everything going on. I simply trust God too much to give too much anxious or negative energy to things. Sure, I take a moment to be confused, hurt, or frustrated.

Then I try to find God in it. Why? What is He trying to teach me? What have I prayed for that this is answering in ways I didn’t expect? How can I be content in the state I find myself in? πŸ—£

It ain’t easy being breezy. I have definitely not handled this perfectly. And I won’t. But I’m trying. And I can see how it is paying off.

Go be great. Someone is counting on it!

Grace – Grateful Part Five

Grateful

Grateful Part Deux

What A Rollercoaster-Grateful Part Tres

Grateful Part Four-The Hurricane

Grace is represented by the number five in the Bible. How appropriate that this ends in five parts.

There is soooooo much I could say about what happened after the hurricane. I can’t even remember it all. And honestly, it really isn’t worth recounting. I’m just gone drop the lil picture of what I posted on social media.

I would love to say life is grand. While so many things are taken care of, I’m still in some stuff. But that is okay. He’s pruning and perfecting me. I like who I’m becoming. So I’m gone stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. That’s Bible y’all.

I am about to go rest, relate, relax, and recharge for the next journey ahead. It’s finna be great but it’s gonna be a dooooooozy. God and I got this though.

Go be great. It may be hard. But it will change your life. And the lives of others. Cuz someone is counting on it.

Can’t Take The Egyptians

I’m in an interesting space right now. I think I’ve made that abundantly clear.

In Legacy, I talked about silencing myself and others around me. I have not been as successful as I could be. But I have had to put the people out. I’m trying to change. It’s a process chiiiiii.

But. I see why. There’s nothing wrong wrong with the people per se.

But they are people who were with me while I was in Egypt.

And many of them are still in Egypt. That’s no shade or condemnation. It’s all they know.

At some point, Moses knew who he really was. πŸ—£πŸ—£πŸ—£πŸ—£πŸ—£ had made a triumphant return. Lol. If you see it that means there is Scripture for you to go look up to ensure that I’m not making anything up. And ya should read it for yourself. Errythang about Moses and Egypt is Scripture though.

Moses defended his people by murdering someone who was raised to consider as his people.

Pause. How often do we, in an effort to survive horrible circumstances intended to kill or harm us, do we go find somewhere, someone, or something that we think will help us just live? Not thrive, but somehow, just make it day to day?

Cuz while Moses probably had abandonment and identity issues, the decision his mother made is still benefiting this world. To. This. Day.

These last two lil blurbs got me heavy in the all things work together for good of it all. πŸ—£

Moses KNOWS it’s a wrap for him. He knows he’s bout to have some problems for his reaction. My pastor preached about childhood trauma and needing to grow up yesterday. Dats Moses here and eventually again in the wilderness a couple times.

His tantrums and unresolved issues led him to break the first set of 10 Commandments and have a more difficult time creating the second set. They led him to not obeying to get water the second time and missing out on seeing the Promised Land despite ALL he did to get them there.

This makes me think of, God forbid, some of us who Jesus foretold about. πŸ—£Some of us are gonna do ALL of this stuff in the name of Jesus. Only to be told on judgment day, go away. I never knew you. May we check our hearts and motives and make sure they are pure and we are really disciples of Jesus. Not just fleshy, self absorbed caricatures operating in witchcraft and manipulation. My pastor has talked about that some for the past two weeks as well.

So Moses knows it’s a wrap and he runs. He gets out of Egypt and ends up somewhere he’s never been doing manual labor he has never had to perform. Prodigal Son much? πŸ—£

Moses has an encounter with God while he is off hiding and running from his mistake. While he is at his lowest, God begins to tell him who he is. God calls out to Moses and tells him who HE says he is. God begins to make all of what has happened to Moses make sense. The One who made him tells him WHY.

Moses is like soooooo many of us. He decided to tell his Creator all the reasons why he couldn’t, shouldn’t, maybe wouldn’t do and be what he was created to be. He disqualified himself. I mean, he had been through a lot. And now he is encountering a bush in the middle of nowhere that is on fire and talking. I’d feel some type of way too.

But THANK God He was like nah playa. I know who you are and I know why I created you and I know what I need you to do.

It would be wonderful to be able to say that things were smooth sailing from then on for Moses. Not. The whole my strength is made perfect in weakness or something like that. πŸ—£πŸ€­ Lol. The way I say some of this tickles even me. πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸ€£πŸ˜‚

Buddy STRUGGLES struggles. But da ppl finally make it out of Egypt.

Wait. Moses had to go off and be alone in order to develop his relationship with God. Moses had to endure the struggle of the plagues to develop his leadership skills and develop an ear for the voice of God. What seemed like disappointment and embarrassment was really strength and fortification for the journey ahead through the wilderness.

So. Before they leave Egypt, they get to take a bunch of stuff with them. Gold and all kinds of nice, expensive things they had likely never owned or maybe even seen and touched.

I would love to sit here and express the awe of and revelation in the process of leaving and being in the sea and Pharoah drowning. But this is already a lil long and that’s not why I came. Hahahahahaha.

They left Egypt but Egypt didn’t leave them. I think my pastor mentioned something about the Egypt of it all. I was clearly listening. Hahahahaha. I mean it is coming up again today. But I was busy serving for parts of it so. πŸ€·πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ SMH. πŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ

They wanted to get to where God promised them. But they were holding on to the gods of Egypt. They were holding on to the mindset of Egypt. Could it be that the stuff they took with them from Egypt had the spirit of Egypt attached and it was as though the Egyptians were there with them?

Wow. I have had a difficult relationship with them taking the jewelry off because it was, to me, erroneously (incorrectly) used as justification for why we shouldn’t wear jewelry as Christians. But could it be thay they had to melt and make an idol out of it to be rid of the last physical reminders of Egypt?

How can we take people and things that have had us bound or reminders of what bound us where we are going? The people who hurt us and refused to see us? The people who are distracting and hindering us from getting to purpose?

Moses took nobody with him as God prepared him for purpose. When. It. Was. Time. When God had done enough work in him, Moses went back and ushered them from bondage.

But they were human. Including Moses. They did what we do. They didn’t build enough altars. They didn’t focus enough on the Helper on the hill. πŸ—£ (The Scripture to search in the King James Version is I will lift up mine eyes to the hills….). They didn’t focus on the One on the water who uttered the word come. πŸ—£

They looked at what was around them. Because they didn’t consider the miracle that was their very existence, every person who left Egypt died in the wilderness and never saw the Promised Land. They never embraced who God said they were. They never accepted their identity. They kept the Egyptians with them.

Oh but Joshua and Caleb. They understood who they were. They took stock of the miracles and caught the vision God gave Moses. They did what nobody else could. They embraced being different and seeing God differently. They made the hard choice to be available to their identity and what God said. What God showed them.

I don’t see it recorded. But my guys had to have struggled. Cuz it’s hard for fish to swim upstream. They didn’t doubt. They didn’t waiver. And after Moses departed the earth, Joshua took up his mantle and ushered the people into what he saw. My God. This is so good to me. So necessary for ME.

May we trust what He said. May we trust what He showed us. May we embrace and accept what the One who made us says about us and reject what we say or have been told. May we take every excuse, insecurity, and disqualification to the Creator of masterpieces and let Him assemble the work of art He created us to be. May we build altars and submit to the process of being melted into gold, burned into pottery, and cut into sacrifices that smell sweet in His nostrils.

Go be great. You should be counting on it. God is. Someone is.

Home.

Again. I feel like pieces of this are littered all around this lil website. I. Don’t. Care. Catch it again. Lol.

I’m about four years old. I’m going to this private school causing all kinds of ruckus. Da ppl weren’t having it. They moved me to kindergarten.

My teacher also went to the church and she and her children eventually became family. I got two bothers and a sister out of the deal. Life has brought us full circle and I’m grateful.

My pastor was a bit of a rebel with a cause. He was definitely a trailblazer. I mean, what Apostolic church is letting children wear jean bottoms and black t-shirts in the choir stand in the mid to late 90s?

He was so innovative and cared so much about us. He let us go all over the country singing. People left their churches so their children could come have a place to be active.

Chiiiii. We were not just singing. We were being taught the Word (not religious tradition cuz there’s a difference) in service, Sunday School, Bible Class, choir rehearsal, and on our trips.

We had to memorize 1 Peter 2:9 to get our shirt. I was so upset that I didn’t get it on my first try. Ugh.

They were old school yet modern. Cuz we wore da pants,, makeup, and jewelry. We got caught in a hail storm on our way to sing. They pulled the bus over. They told us to pray. And if we didn’t have the Holy Ghost, they told us to tarry.

Sis (me is sis, sis is me) didn’t have it. She thought she got it on the bus but was told no. Okay with the third person. I was hot all service. I think I received that good gift within a few months. I told one of the bros I about it years later. He was like “you had it. She didn’t know what she was talking about” πŸ€£πŸ˜‚.

My pastor taught us what the Bible says. He was worried about our souls and the inside. He said as much. He knew that if he got our souls together the outside and other things would take care of themselves.

He was so submitted to God. I was 10 going on 11 when we moved. But, I remember so much of what went down. I think it was necessary to get me where I am and where I’m going.

He allowed God to run the service many a Sunday. The praise team would sing. Maybe the choir. Then the announcer would get up and couldn’t even say the announcements because the Spirit was moving so much. He would be like “God is here. The altar is open.” He wouldn’t preach what he intended.

He never really stopped the flow of praise and worship. Or to be churchy, he never quenched the Spirit. We stayed as long as we needed to.

He cultivated, and allowed the cultivation via the choir, a family. There was so much love. It was a great place to call home.

I used to say unfortunately, but I accept that it was the will of the Lord to get me HERE, we left and moved to follow my grandparents.

I’m grateful for and was ruined by my home church. It made it hard to find a church. But when I found where I should be planted, it was easy to spot home.

Go be great. Someone is counting on it.

I Can’t Title This

I went home. I ran home. Hell broke loose. I ran into more hell.

It changed my life.

It saved my life.

I got something eternal out of it. An uncle I adored who went home who left a mark on me for life.

And eventually an auntie. Baaaaaaybeeeee. This lady is something. Hear me?

The love is real. Cuz we have been tried and tested.

This blog is short and sweet.

But don’t let it fool you.

There is far too much to choose from so I’m not even gonna try.

I will say this, she has spoken life when I needed it.

She has chastened and corrected when I needed it.

She has shown me who I am, where I’m going, and what God sees when He looks at me.

If I stay here much longer more thug tears are on the way.

I’m just so grateful to God. So Ima put that on wax here.

I cannot wait to see how her story unfolds. She has so much that so many of us need.

It’s gonna be great. I’m counting on it!

Shujaa

This means warrior in Swahili.

If you’ve been around, you know I talk about my person who blogs here. You know I’ve been unable to come up with a title for her.

Let’s back up. I knew who she was from watching her church online. I attempted to become a member of her location cuz her pastor is bomb and adopted me as family.

I was talking to someone about trying to move and get a job when my shujaa walked up. “Will you pray over this with me?”

Seven words shifted the trajectory of my life. I posted about that on Insta and missed the seven the other day. Man. Seven shows up in the Bible so many times.

There’s one other set of seven words that shifted the trajectory of our lives. Those seven words Jesus uttered before he laid down his life.

Shujaa and I actually had a convo about this. Those were not the seven last words of Jesus. He spoke to the disciples after leaving hell before He ascended. And He still speaks today.

I’m not gonna get into everything cuz that’s our business. But, when you read her books, you will see how appropriate the title of warrior is. She has fought me and fought for me. We are family. I love and adore her and her husband, who I call Pastor Fisherman.

God gives us what when need when we needed it. My life is so much better, richer, fuller, more on track for purpose, all because some lady walked up to me and asked me to pray. I admit I was taken aback. Cuz she didn’t know me from Adam. And I wasn’t raised to ask random people to pray. Especially given the circumstances.

God sent her and she knew something I didn’t. Or maybe it was just the awesome company I was keeping. Whatever the case. I’m mighty grateful!

Go be great. Someone is counting on it.

Thug Tears

I told y’all elsewhere I’m a G and don’t really cry no mo

Tears have bubbled and I wanna do a full weep

The fact that God just used me in this grocery store

When I walked away

When I turned my back

When I didn’t want Him to keep breathing life in this body

When I knowingly sinned

When I betrayed Him

To know that He still has need of me

To know that He STILL wants to use me

I am humbled

I will stay committed to this surrendered yes come what may

Go be great. God is counting on it. And so is someone else.

Ridin’ On E

I was listening to William McDowell’s “Give Us Your Heart”. While talking, he discusses being empty when he gets to heaven. This made me think of William Murphy’s “Empty Me”. And now I thought of Jonathan Nelson’s “Fill My Cup Lord I Need Thee Every Hour”. And now, lol smh, I thought about Milton Brunson and The Thompson Community Singers’ “I’m Available To You”.

All of these deal with us being emptied and pouring out to God or our purpose.

But first, we gotta empty ourselves. We gotta remove sin, iniquity, and flesh. In order to empty a purpose, we gotta empty anything that would stand in the way of doing it. We have to be holy because He is holy. πŸ—£ That’s Scripture to look up. Check it out please. I need you to see it for yourself.

We have to be sanctified. We have to be purified. Both of those pop up so πŸ—£πŸ—£. Lol. In order to do great exploits for Him and in His name we gotta look like Him. So we gotta go through what He went through.

No romantic, cute, fluffy stuff over here. His life and sacrifice on the cross were not easy. But He did it to show us we could too. He left a Comforter. And He left a Book full of guidance. Ya know. The Bible.

So, we empty out and and we figure out what we are carrying. It is imperative, a must, super important that we go after what we were created for. That we empty out every call, purpose, vision, talent, idea, whatever that He gives us.

I’m not joking when I say go be great someone is counting on it. What He placed inside of us is not for us or even just for the people in the churches we attend.

Jesus said go to the highways and hedges and compel, call, men to come. πŸ—£ He made disciples who he expected to make other disciples. πŸ—£ The whole light of the world and salt of the earth of it all. πŸ—£πŸ—£

We need it. We gotta be empty for ourselves to be in His perfect will. I firmly believe our joy and peace depends on it. Jeremiah said if he would even consider not saying what God wanted him to say it would be like fire shut up in his bones. πŸ—£

Wanna know why you are depressed or uncomfortable for no real reason you can put your finger on?

You sat down at a table and ate too much and are too full. And until something comes out up or down, you will be in misery.

So, like my person who blogs here says, as it is in the natural, so it is in the Spirit. There is a discontent when we know what we should do but aren’t doing it. While the author of the Scripture likely meant sin sin when he said to him that knows to do good and does it not it is sin, da ppl say partial obedience is still disobedience.

I was reading John Hannah’s “Just Pray” and he discussed the fact that while Nathan took a while to come to David about the Uriah and Bathsheeba of it all, David was writing Psalms about the misery of his sin. He said that’s why when Nathan confronted him, David went to God.

Please, please, please don’t contribute to what someone said is the wealthiest place. The cemetery. Because it is full of unrealized talent, dreams purpose, and potential.

I know I’m wearing y’all out about how hard things are. It’s just temporary but a theme. Lol. I’m okay with the pruning, the emptying out. Cuz I know what I’m being filled with. I know why. Because I know what I’m carrying and where I’m going. It’s gonna get better soon. Legit.

So. GO BE GREAT. SOMEONE IS COUNTING OOOOOOON IIIIIIIT!

Struggle Worship

How easy is it for us to say nice things about people when they don’t do what we want?

When things aren’t going our way?

How easy is it for us to stick beside people when they just aren’t our cup of tea?

How easy is it to sacrifice when it is uncomfortable or inconvenient?

I almost changed the title to sacrifice or added it to the title.

My good guy Abraham is, to me, the epitome of one who gave a sacrificial, struggle worship.

I cant imagine wanting a child, having one the way your wife wanted, having one the way God promised, having to send the first one away, and then being told to kill the promised one as a sacrifice. πŸ—£ means this is Scripture you should prooooooobably look up to ensure I’m not writing fairy tales. Lol.

Isaac, the promised child, is old enough to know what they do when they sacrifice. πŸ—£ As are the people he took with him. πŸ—£ Someone asks where the animal for sacrifice is. πŸ—£ Abraham says the Lord will provide. πŸ—£Or something like that.

I can’t imagine grabbing my promise and tying it up and laying it down to kill it. πŸ—£Like. Isaac didn’t, at least not in what is written, even fight back. πŸ—£ He was so submitted to his father that he just went along with it.

But, could you imagine Isaac’s terror? He KNOWS what happens here. Can you imagine the confusion they both must have felt? This didn’t look like what He said. How can I father many nations with a dead son? How can I fulfil the promise if I’m dead?

God got jokes. Stays with them. As SOON as Abraham raises the knife to slay Isaac, my Guy is like “wait. Hol’ up, hol’ up, HOL’ UP (hold up πŸ˜‚πŸ€£). Aight son. You gone obey obey. I see that. Go look over there. There’s a ram”. πŸ—£

Yo. That ram had to have fallen from heaven just like the manna eventually does in Exodus. πŸ—£ (hey. At least it’s a book for once. Haha.) Cuz I’m fairly certain ain’t no ram caught in a bush gone be quiet and unnoticeable the WHOLE time they are up there.

After all of that, the sure stress and rollercoaster of it all, Abraham builds an altar. He doesn’t complain or fuss. He doesn’t trip about what went down. To me, he offers sacrificial worship that had to be a slight struggle. At least it would have been for me.

But good ol Father Abe? He worships and calls Him Jehovah Jireh. The Lord Will Provide. Man.

That is why, as living sacrifices who die daily and are crucified with Christ (that’s πŸ—£πŸ—£πŸ—£ I believe), it is SOOO important to do what a song I was raised singing says: bring the sacrifice of praise. We GOTTA worship when we don’t feel like it and when it’s hard.

Why? He inhabits the praises of His people. πŸ—£ Worship is a sweet smell in his nostril that causes Him to get up off His throne and come down and see about us (this may be a Scripture I can’t find quickly. I know it’s true. Lol.).

If someone you are in relationship with wants or needs you but they keep talking crazy about what you’re doing, are you gonna wanna do anything to help them? I think not.

Let us be mindful of the Biblical principles that guide this life and relationship with God. He has made a covenant, promise, with us. A contract. He has said He will do certain things if we do certain things. He doesn’t breach, break contracts. So. If our contract isn’t being fulfilled, we need to find a mirror.

Go be great. He’ll help you. He’s counting on you. So is someone else.

Keep Moving

I reaaaaaaaally probably should have already published this. If not for all the Scripture references, I would probably trash it and move on since I’ve mentioned all of this recently. Oh. Well. Lol.

Sometimes the miracle is getting up after you wake up.

I would really like to just stay on the house and pull the covers up over my head.

I have absolutely no control over anything right now.

If I’m honest, despite the altar and track record of our relationship, I’m still human and stressed.

This is a HARD hard season.

One of the most difficult stages of pregnancy, so I’ve been told, is labor.

The contractions.

The pain.

The pressure.

I have quit at this point in other seasons.

I ain’t gone lie.

But, writing this, I was reminded of rhe prayer my pastor prayed a couple weeks ago. He used the pregnancy analogy/metaphor. Chiii I googled and still don’t know if analogy or metaphor is the right one to use. Lol. Smh.

He prayed that we wouldn’t quit on our purpose.

He prayed that we wouldn’t abort.

He prayed that there wouldn’t be stillbirth.

He prayed that we would go full term.

Things are often the hardest RIGHT before everything falls into place and comes together.

Again, if I’m honest, I’ve been in my present situation a time or two before. I remember how bad it got. I desperately do not want to endure that again.

However, because I came out victorious, because He clearly prepared me for now, I know how this HAS to end.

I’m entitled to feelings. It’s what I do with those feelings. It’s how I talk about what’s going on. It’s how I make moves in light of what’s going on.

Quite honestly, I need Him second by second. He’s allowing all of this. The enemy knows what’s up too.

He’s asking a lot and requiring a lot. I’m having to change a lot. Chiiiii. It’s just a lot. These next lines are Scripture til I say when. Please go look them up.

Buuuuuut. His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

I have a High Priest who understands.

If I don’t lean to my understanding, but, acknowledge Him in ALL my ways, He will direct my path.

He knows the way I take.

His thoughts and ways are not mine.

His plans for me are good.

Weapons form but don’t prosper.

I cand do ALL things.

Greater is HE that is in me.

So, I’m gone keep building myself up on my most holy faith.

I’m gone keep looking to the hills where my help comes from.

I’m gone keep looking to Jesus-the author AND finisher of my faith. Aight. This was the last one.

Cuz like Tye Tribbett and G.A. sang, I have NO OTHER choice but to trust Him. That’s all I can do.

Go be great. Someone is counting on you.

I Could But But Naaaaaaaah

Cuz grace. Grace Is Gracious. This blog was definitely a draft first but it so very appropriate to mention it here. Cuz this was already gonna be about grace.

All things are lawful but not expedient (πŸ—£ Scripture to look up).

You may have seen me mention the multiplicity (multiple, many) of books and ideas. You may have seen where I said I couldn’t or didn’t have peace about it. I’m gonna explain in detail here.

Hurt ppl hurt people. I had the attitude “if they didn’t want anybody to know they shouldn’t have done it”. How rude, immature, and devoid of ALL of the grace I was given.

It was legit all they knew. I can testify that it is SUPER difficult to be different from those around you and what you were shown. I have STRUGGLED to be who I feel I should be. I’ve failed and reverted a time or two.

As discussed in the blog linked above, I sat down and considered their why.

We can be angry, not sin, and still be WRONG. We don’t have to put ppl on front street to give our testimony. We can give the grace we wish they would have given us. That decision just may be what leads to reconciliation.

I hope I haven’t closed the door because of the way I’ve tried to make things happen. I didn’t ask God enough questions and allow Him to direct me. I hope it isn’t too late and all Is not lost. I don’t think so. I think it is God’s will. But in His time.

Go be great. We’re waiting on it!

Lit Lit Lit

I recently heard someone at church say when God said let there be light He was talking about the Son because the sun wasn’t created until day four.

🀯🀯🀯🀯🀯🀯🀯

First off, he preached twice and was all in my blogs and conversations in both messages.

This is one of the things that I said and didn’t know if I’d blog about it: If he’s a lamp and a light I have to go where the lamp and light lead. Those are two different Scriptures. He quoted both and you should go find them.

I said Jesus is everything we need in another blog.

Yo. Omg.

So, he preached this am about purpose in a storm. I said yo because I was gonna say that Jesus is a lighthouse for us.

The message he preached was about Paul and the storm that broke the boat in pieces.

Paul, the servant and mouthpiece of God, told the people what to do. They thought they knew better because they were experienced. Paul was like. Nah. HEAR me.

The people finally listened. The boat broke up in the storm. But they all made it out of the water through the storm onto land using the broken pieces.

It was a boat. It was supposed to hold up. They expected to go through that storm the way they always did. They didn’t think they needed help or instructions from Paul. A preacher. Not a boater.

People. Let. Me. Tell. You.

Just cuz it looks familiar doesn’t mean it’s familiar. What worked before won’t necessarily work this time. What saved you before could cause your demise and destruction this time.

That’s why He’s a lamp for our feet and a light to our path. Not a rolodex or file cabinet. Our feet move and a path is where we travel, the way we take. A rolodex and file cabinet are stationary things that hold records.

It is still true that we need to build an altar. The purpose of the altar is to remind us of His capability and power. It isn’t an idol to worship like a playback to keep running the same plays over and over.

May we allow our all knowing God who springs forth rivers of living water to guide us over and through every storm.

Cuz the storms bring water. They exist in and on water. But water is a life source.

Every storm has the power to bring with it the life we need to make it where we are going.

Okay. I’m out.

Go be great. Someone’s counting on it.

Grace is Gracious

Well here I am again. I must have made resting up and didn’t hear that from God. Lol.

I started another blog and I may write it but I’m honestly probably just gonna go with this title and write it here. But here’s what it was:

To quote my nephew, I “crack me out”. Silly.

But I have been fighting. For a long time. And I’m gonna have to fight til I die.

I love really hard and really intensely. I am not ashamed to admit it may be a trauma response. But it also may just be ME. Haha.

I go all out and ppl reciprocate to a degree. I’ll be cool with it. Then somewhere along they way they drop your girl. They never really say why or have a good reason. I know why. I’ll get there.

I try and try and try. Forcing it. Trying to, to quote Mean Girls, make fetch happen. I end up upset and hurt. And then I’m done. I’m out. I run away. But then, for some reason I go back.

I feel like I’ve treated God and my purpose the same way. I feel like I’ve done to Him what has been done to me because somehow I feel like He’s doing to me what they did. My goodness.

Um. No sis. Read ya Bible girl. Trials and tribulations were a guarantee. πŸ—£ means go find your Bible and make sure I know what I’m talking about. He promised a Comforter. πŸ—£ To be with you. πŸ—£ Sis. It went down just like He said. You trippin girl.

Lol. But facts. We have this romanticized version of life with Jesus. Nah. We gotta go through just like Him. And we gotta be patient with ppl like He was.

Like. Some people are not for me. My first name means consecrated to God. Set aside for a sacred purpose. And endeared. I know I’ve mentioned this. So ya girl ain’t meant to have alla these friends even though who she is causes her to be loved or liked. Haha. The ppl are a fan but they don’t stay cuz they can’t. That is honestly a perfect description. Huh. Interesting.

That middle name though? God is gracious. Biiiiiig FACTS. I’ve received soooooo much grace. But at times, I haven’t been so gracious. Shame on me.

We should be more than willing to extend what has been extended to us. But life and trauma don’t make that the easiest. It is super easy to see people how you would operate and not consider how life has made them operate.

Grace should be gracious. Salvation was the ultimate gift of grace. We should be mindful of that and afford it to others as often as possible. This is TRULY a lesson for me right now. It’s rough trying to guard your heart and protect and care for yourself while being gracious. It’s not gonna be cute or easy. But it is SUPER possible. Because we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us. πŸ—£

Go be great. Someone is counting on it.

Oh, You’re Good

God is so intentional.

I wanted to say thats it that’s the post. But we know better.

Or do we? I have no clue what I was gonna write when I wrote this as a draft.

At this moment though, words fail and escape me.

Go be great. Someone is counting on it.

God is so intentional. There’s a reason and purpose for ALL of what He allows. Just trust His track record. Build an altar.

One more time for the one time.

God is so intentional.

What A Waste

I’m gonna get me all the way together on this one.

This is who I was though. Not who I am. Thank God for growth.

I know somewhere I mentioned not caring for my birth church and not wanting to go back. Sorry not sorry?

Everything isn’t for everybody.

I was highly upset that my pastor wanted me there and not just at the church he founded. I was grudgingly obedient.

Honestly, I knew too much oabout what the people were doing. They were LITERALLY sinning and grinning. Singing and ministering KNOWING they weren’t right.

Ot maybe they didn’t. Maybe they thought their behavior was okay. Regardless, I didn’t want to have them singing and alla that to me. I mean, I stopped everything I was doing when I was knowingly sinning.

It’s amazing what we think we can get away with. I firmly believe it is because we have created a God that does not exist. Cuz if we served, followed, believed in, and were in relationship with the God of the actual Bible, there are some things we just couldn’t do.

So. I would take myself up to the balcony and just sit judgmentally. Wouldn’t join in praise and worship half the time. Or rhe choir. Cuz I was frustrated by what I saw.

Immature.

People always say I feel the presence of the Lord. There are so many times I have looked around in different places lost cuz surely He isn’t there.

Not acting like I didn’t bring Him with me. Not acting like I could open my mouth, pray, and invite Him in myself. Not acting like I didn’t have the power to pray that the people would stop their mess.

Buuuuuut. That ain’t what I was taught or shown. We were supposed to just talk about the people. Be annoyed with them. This is a lot of religion right here people. I have a religion vs. relationship post waiting to be written. I dunno if I will.

But people. There is DEFINITELY a difference. And I was DEFINITELY still religious.

How dare I take the time to get dressed and go to the house of the Lord and refuse to give Him what He deserved because I was in my feelings about something that had very little to do with me? Tuh.

At this point, I have opened the doors of Mind My Business Ministry. Do you boo. That’s your life and business. My responsibility is to give Him all I got every chance I get.

It is my responsibility to set the stage for what I need and ensure He is welcome and invited in even if nobody else does. Cuz of who He is to me.

What a waste to sing, and shout, and dance, and hear preaching if His presence is never felt? All we have done is entertained and been entertained.

Ion want that testimony. Ever again.

Every we time we get the privilege to come before the Lord we should do whatever we can ro invite Him in. Who knows? Had I been on my Ps and Qs maybe things could have been different. We will never know.

But the arrogance and audacity of it? Shame on me and shame on you if this tapped danced on your behavior.

Go be great. Someone is counting on it. It will bless you too.

What Are You Carrying

This had a whole nother title (remember was in front) and I’m combining it with one that was gonna be titled What Are You Doing With Your Yes and I Don’t See What You Said. Lol the last one was gonna be one called Making Faith. I told y’all elsewhere, ya girl got drafts for daaaaaaaaays.

Elijah and the juniper tree just came to mind.

But first. In What Are You Doing With Your Yes, I popped in a piece of a convo I had where I was probably annoying. I told the person the yes I gave God isn’t the yes it has turned into but it is the yes I was created for.

While on my way here, at this moment in my life, and to where I’m going, I said yes.  Feel free to reflect on some of what I said in What Did You Say.  I questioned if I heard what I heard and saw what I saw. Cuz I didn’t want it anymore.  Never really did. But. Nah. I was good. I wasn’t going after it.  Multiple times. 

This surrendered life is hard. You don’t get to be comfortable or in control. You don’t get to just say and do whatever.  It’s why I’ve played hopscotch with my relationship with Jesus.  It’s why I’ve been focused and then thrown up my deuces (peace sign) and walked away.

True relationship, outside of anything extra, the Bible way?  Tuh. I punked out. But He gave me more grace. That’s why I told Him yes for real and I mean it this time.  Cuz, all the other times, I said yes but with reservations that I don’t think I was fully aware of.  But this time?  I told Him yes to it all.  Alright.  I give up.  I give in.  Sis ain’t neva done alla that.

In I Don’t See What You Said/Making Faith, I started to write these words: Donald Lawrence has a line in a song that says “I’m not making sense I’m making faith”. I don’t have to understand.  I just have to obey.  It doesn’t have to make sense.  But it has to be faith. I was going to talk about David, Abraham, 10 of the 12 spies, and Moses. Feel free to go look alla that up. Cuz this ain’t that and Ion think I’m going to write write those.

Cuz what are you carrying? You have to give a yes to carry something.

We didn’t have to give a yes to be born. But we had to give a yes to receive baptism of the water and Spirit. See Salvation. So now as saved believers, we are carrying the breath of God and the Spirit of God.

Some of us made the fortunate mistake of asking for wisdom and purpose. I feel like God was like the double dutcher rocking back and forth waiting to jump in, waiting on us to ask why we were created and how we could serve Him in the earth.

Cuz Buddy be out here READY ready to tell someone something bout themselves. Jeremiah 1 comes to mind. Happy hunting. If you’re a regular you know the drill. πŸ—£ means go make sure I’m not writing a whole new Bible.

So. We get our assignment and we are good to go. We start working and living and reaching. Well. Some of us. Cuz I was a reluctant 16 year old who wanted out. My grandfather was having none of it. I eventually found a way out by leaving his church. I told him I wasn’t ready. I have been in a pulpit once since July 2004.

But the thing is, it never left me. This is a pulpit of sorts. I feel like I addressed this elsewhere recently. I’m not going to check. Y’all can just read it again. Lol. I create pulpits wherever I take me. What’s in you will come out. That same Jeremiah said it would be like fire if he didn’t speak. πŸ—£ Facts.

Anywho. Sooooooomething or someone comes along and makes us stop. We question everything God ever said or showed us. Come here Elijah. My pastor preached about this recently and again, I think I talked about it recently, but it bears repeating.

Elijah was used by God to do one of the most amazing things. πŸ—£ Embarrassed the prophets of Baal and Jezebel. πŸ—£ But then my guy finds out that Jezebel wants him dead. πŸ—£

Wait. This might be another draft. BRB (be right back. As if you can see. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚). Chiiiiii didn’t see a draft. Cuz I’m down for a copy and paste. It may be already written like I thought. I’m just gonna keep going. Cuz we can never get enough reminders.

Elijah runs away and hides under a juniper tree. πŸ—£ Wait. Sir. You da one who just dumped a river on wood and called fire down that consumed the wet wood and the other foolishness the prophets of Baal created? πŸ—£

Was.

Sir. You da one who KNOWS knows God and has a track record with him? Just read what happened in the chapters before the juniper tree.

Was.

This is why I keep saying we gotta build altars. At nine years old within months of receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, I had no idea why my friends turned on me. I had no idea what I was really carrying.

In the years since, I should have had more sense. I went to enough church. I had experienced enough hell. I had experienced enough evidence of the favor and purpose on my life through our relationship.

But I kept running into Jezebels. Be it me or other people. I kept running into moments that caused me to go sit under a juniper tree. I kept running into moments that made me want to quit and just die.

I’m in one of the biggest juniper tree moments of my life. I think I have had one second of quit. But quit quit like before? Naaaaaah. I’m closer to purpose than I’ve ever been. I gave that yes and meant it.

I am looking at and to the Author and Finisher of my faith. πŸ—£ I have put all of this in proper perspective. I am determined to embrace the gift of peace given to me. πŸ—£ I am determined to stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. πŸ—£ I am determined to be content where I find myself. πŸ—£ I am determined to be tried in the fire and come out as gold. πŸ—£ Cuz He said it wouldn’t consume me. πŸ—£ I’m determined to let nothing separate me. πŸ—£ Not even me and my feelings or emotions. I’m determined to be the clay the Potter needs me to be. πŸ—£

The yes I was created for is A LOT. It is exposing and unearthing. It is illuminating and uncomfortable. Stuff I thought was healed and done for. Nooooooot so much. The 180s. The changes. The shifts. The growing pains. It’s like the entire kitchen sink is being thrown at once. I can admit it is probably my fault for dragging my feet at times. But timing is important. I needed every second. Nothing was wasted.

I know what I’m carrying. I know there are people attached to me. I know that I am going to change the trajectory of my bloodline. I know what He told me. I know what He showed me. I know what I asked Him. I know that nothing will satisfy me unless I take care of what I’m carrying.

What are you carrying?

Go be great. Someone’s counting on it.

When Prayer Is All You Got

I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Ev’ry hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee

My grandaddy and I may have differed in our theology. But, one thing that man was gone do is sing a hymn and make us pray. He was gone stand firm on what he believed.

I’ve been lost in the sauce of his theology and messages at times. But, the older I get, the more the minute, little details of it matter less. And the more appreciative I am of who he was at his core. There is a mantle and legacy waiting on meeeeee. For me? Either way. I’m on my way to it!

Cuz baybay? I need the Lord dang near every SECOND right now.

The Grateful series alone indicates that. Never mind the other stuff I’ve had going on and written.

I don’t think we give prayer enough time, attention, and credit.

I don’t think we focus enough when God wakes us up or won’t let us sleep.

Let me tell you something. Before a lot of the storms came, this Man was on my NERVES. Like Sir why we gotta be in each other’s faces at 4 something when you KNOW I like to sleep? And you KNOW how late I was up and how tired I am from slinging people’s groceries?

But I gave Him what He wanted. And we made an exchange.

There is no way I’m calm and peaceful if I had not spent time in prayer and runnin through His Word when this stuff has come.

I believe Bishop Rosie told us last week that peace is a gift. Tuh. That’s Bible. Have fun searching that and anything else you see πŸ—£ near. It’s time out for just believing what other people say the Bible says. Go search the mystery if the Gospel for yourself.

Anywho. I’m grateful for the gift. It truly does pass all understanding. It makes NO sense for me to just be okay with one of the things. Let alone all.

I just know I gotta suffer to reign. πŸ—£

I just know that to know Him in the power of His resurrection and fellowship of His suffering πŸ—£ I gotta do this.

Like this Scripture. Know Him in the power of His resurrection. So. He had the power to get up after he laid down His body. πŸ—£ cuz it’s never too much to revisit His crucifixion and resurrection.

He promised us the ability to do greater works than Him. πŸ—£ And I gotta say, though maybe a stretch, it is a great work to be powerful enough some days to just get up and put your feet on the ground and then put one in front of the other.

Fellowship of His suffering? Fellowship is when people come together for the same reason. They get to know each other because of a common cause or event. That’s my definition. It ain’t a Scripture but go see if I’m close. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

He promised us trials and tribulations as they sought to kill Him. πŸ—£ But He promised He would be with us and send us a Comforter. πŸ—£

Chiiiii. I guess rest wasn’t the case this week. At least it’s not four of these a day rn (right now). Lol.

He suffered. I’m suffering. I go to Him in prayer. I recall what He went through and how He went through. I present myself and my desire to be like Him as a living sacrifice. πŸ—£ We have fellowshipped.

Woooooooooooow! Lol.

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time ARE NOT WORTHY to be compared with the glory which SHALL be revealed in us. πŸ—£(I changed up the emphasis. I saw it when proofreading and can’t go there. Lol.)

That thang says the revelation of God’s glory in us is guaranteed due to our suffering. My pastor told us we talk about glory but it isn’t always a feel good thing. Tuh. Facts.

But we were created to give God glory. We have made glory and worship synonymous, the same.

Wait. This was supposed to be about prayer. I’m gone take my leave and eventually say sumn (something) about the line above. Cuz it’s a pretty good thought. And I can’t clown ppl for going all over God’s creation and not sticking to what they were gone talk about then do it myself. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Pray for ya girl. Pastor did say he’s teaching pursuit not perfection. I ain’t perfect i just pray a lot (in the key of some rapper. If ya know ya know. I don’t fully and refuse to try. This has reaaaaaaally gone off the rails.)

Go be great. Chiiii. You should be counting on it. But there are definitely others counting on it toooooo! ❀

Grateful Part Four-The Hurricane

Grateful

Grateful Part Deux

What A Rollercoaster-Grateful Part Tres

I wanted a new car but not yet or this way.

I woke up to a text saying the other person’s insurance denied the claim due to no coverage.

How am I going to be grateful in this?

I called on Jesus for help. Cuz that’s all I got right now.

It is soooooo interesting to me that when our relationship is poppin and on point, hell just won’t let me gooooooo.

I am coming to realize just how important I must be.

People would say little things and I’d just shrug em off. Cuz the right people said nothing. Cuz the right people made me feel unimportant or insignificant.

I don’t know why I can’t let this go. Maybe because the revelation and realization is just so powerful.

I understand why I had to get to convocation. Someone prayed that I would see my gifts. Someone else told me they hoped I saw that I was loved and seen.

All of this chaos and turmoil that keeps coming my way backs that up.

What I refuse to do is give in to anything I would have before. There is absolutely NOthing, NOTHING I can do to change anything.

I have no tears. I have no anger. I have no frustration. All I have is faith and trust. I may write the draft sitting that’s appropriate here-prayer is all I got. (And did.)

I’m not even gonna get into the messy mess that is going on with this job. Lol. Ion know WHET (no typo) to do. I’m gonna have a job and that’s all that matters.

I said in another blog that I see God. That is factual even in the eye of this storm. More like hurricane season. But, I see Him because I’m looking for Him. And I’ll keep seeing Him because I’ll keep looking for Him.

Hurricanes bring wind and rain.

The Holy Ghost came in the room like the sound of a mighty rushing wind. πŸ—£ that means Scripture to look up.

There are soooooo many Scriptures about rain and water. Cuz hurricanes bring rain but they only form where there is an ocean nearby. Jesus did say He is the living water…πŸ—£

Another water Scripture that comes to mind is this: When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.πŸ—£

I LOVE that Scripture. I have read it tons of times and never noticed that the word will is italicized in the King James Version. It was already a promise. But this looks like a promise promise.

Like the Psalmist Tye Tribbet said, I have no other choice but to trust you. And the Psalmists J.J. Hairston and Youthful Praise, there will be glory after this.

I haven’t changed my mind about this yes. I’m gone see this through. I got to. Cuz the one bringing it has been defeated. But the One with me who allowed it already has the victory. And all of heaven backs Him up.

Go be great. Someone is counting on it.

Grace – Grateful Part Five