Category Archives: Thoughts


We have so much stuff.

We define ourselves by how much and how expensive our stuff is.

I was walking and saw so many expensive cars and driveways full of two, three, and four cars.

Jesus and the Bible talk about how stuff and riches aren’t always the greatest.

Yes, some of us will be rich and prosper. That’s in the Bible.

How we treat that stuff is the problem. Are we making it idols? Are we making it gods? Are we valuing and worshipping it more than we should and more than God? Are we using stuff to fill voids and cover our issues and insecurities?

While stuff is nice, and I am blessed to have plenty of it, it doesn’t define me. Receiving gifts and stuff is not important to me. That’s my lowest love language.

It may have something to do with feeling like my stuff mattered more than me to others when I was younger. It may have something to do with the fact that I got stuff when I needed time.

I just don’t need much. I am actually overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I discovered I had after living 10ish hours away from all of it for more than a year. I gave some away and dang near wanted to just give all of it away. I’m not gonna be able to wear most of it soon anyway.

Years ago, when I cleaned out and gave away my physical stuff my inside, my mind, felt clearer and lighter. I ended up wasting money and acquiring a lot of stuff again. Fortunately, it was just stuff to me. I was lazy and didn’t want to pay money to wash clothes. I was bored. I still gave stuff away and bought stuff for others.

I ended up far less able to afford stuff a couple of years ago. It didn’t even matter. I can’t really afford the different levels of lifestyles I’ve had. But I don’t care. My identity isn’t tied to stuff.

I have the capacity to earn a lot of money when I pass the bar. My dream car? A GMC Acadia. American made. Cheaper maintenance.

I want to buy a condo in the near future. Eventually? Land to custom build a house for me, houses for any children I have or adopt to leave something for my future, and have a farm to give food and jobs to those in need. The hands and feet of Jesus (Matthew 25:31-40) and following what the Bible says parents should do (Proverbs 13:22).

What does your stuff and how you relate to it say about you? What does it mean to you? How does it affect you?

You Dead or Nah????

Faith y’all. Faith.

Faith without works is dead. James 2:17. The whole chapter is worth reading.

My brain is finna feel dead. I have four posts to edit in addition to the four? I’ve finished and Proverbs 21. Sheesh. It’s my fault though. Poor planning and time management. Digression.

We pray and we ask God for help. We expect Him to do all the work. Now, some of this may be my good, Instagram girlfriend in my head @shanickavailhouse/@mytransparentMOMents.

But, works require us to do something. God gives us insight and wisdom on how to obtain some things that we pray for. Either we miss it or are stubborn, obstinate, don’t want to do it His way.

If we do nothing the faith we had to ask for it or believe it would happen dies. Why? Because we do not obtain what we believed through our failure to act.

There are some things and miracles God just does and gives. I’m not talking about that.

I want to lose weight. I want to drink more water. I asked God for help. This isn’t the first time. I have tried.

I didn’t love exercising. I didn’t love water. Usually didn’t drink much of anything unless it came with the meal and could eat without any beverage. Didn’t love the outdoors. Ion like weather extremes after living in the cold midwest and hot south and not being out in it much as a child.

Something happened in the middle of the pandemic. Y’all, for my Apostolic/Pentecostal/Holiness/well informed folk, I just quickened.

In the middle of death. In the middle of devastation. In the middle of uncertainty. In the middle of chaos. In the middle of confusion. In the middle of confinement. In the middle of quarantine. In the middle of loss. While I was essential personnel. While I worked every scheduled shift unless I requested off. I lost weight while others gained it.

I would love to say I worked hard. But I didn’t really work at all. I just stopped eating more than one maybe two meals. It was really laziness. I was staying up after I got off at midnight and sleeping or not wanting to go get food. I wasn’t cooking. I feel like I may have said some of this elsewhere. Forgive me. It’s worth repeating.

Once I saw what I had done while accidentally, inadvertently intermittently fasting, I was sold. I bought a half-gallon igloo and decided to drink my water. I started craving it.

I started walking in the park and loved it. I get irritable, definitely today, when I can’t go outside and walk due to the weather. I have been out in walking in the teens or low twenties at the coldest. I just bundle up. I have come to love, love, love God’s nature.

I don’t just eat vegetables and healthily. As a matter of fact, I lost weight eating junk and fast food. I stopped most of the bad stuff at first. I don’t eat nearly as much junk as before. My water intake has slowed. As has the exercise. Moving and having a different lifestyle is an interesting adjustment. But somehow, I am still losing.

I have worked my faith and God has been gracious to me.

Whatever you are believing God for, figure out what your part is. And walk it out. Work it. He just may be waiting on you.

Be Still, Be Quiet, Be Organized

Psalm 46:10 (KJV) Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

1 Thessalonians 4:11 (KJV) And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

1 Corinthians 14:40 (KJV) Let all things be done decently and in order.

1 Kings 19:12 (KJV) And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

I probably should have, at least could have, quoted these scriptures the other day when I was talking about chaos and organization.

Today I thought about how we are so busy and have so much going on.

We pray but it’s a one-sided conversation. We tell God what we want and what’s wrong. We tell God what we need. I’m sure we thank Him. We tell Him who He is (Jehovah, omnipotent, etc.). Then we go our way.

The cares of life consume us. We don’t sit still or in prayer to wait to hear from Him. I’m using ehe collective we. This isn’t all, 100% of God’s children.

We have cluttered minds and homes. We stay talking, moving, and doing. We expect God to just show up. More of this line of thought I just can’t seem to get away from.

But, we haven’t stopped to gauge if all of what we are saying and doing line up with His will for us. We expect big, huge, grandiose things and answers. Um but that ain’t always how He moves.

The principle of meditation is appropriate for believers. I haven’t studied its original but I’m willing to guess someone took prayer and flipped it, expanded it, and meditation is here.

I advise us to make real, actual time a s space for God. To be still. To be quiet. To be organized. Naturally. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. I promise you it will change your life. It’s changed mine!

Inventory Check

I had a dream that I was working in an office supply store.

A lady came in and wanted permanent markers. She fussed about the cost and color options.

She kept walking around and around. She saw a virtual reality headset. She said something negative about it and said we should take it off the shelf.

Somebody came over to help and made suggestions. She pooh poohed them, in addition to mine, and kept walking around and complaining.

For one, this sounds like the children of Israel in the wilderness. I thought that as I was typing.

After I had the dream, and in part while typing as well, I thought that I was God in this scenario. I work there. I know the prices. I know what works for your needs. I can help you.

The customer was us. Not wanting help. Wanting to complain. Getting distracted. Disrespectful. Wanting something but not wanting to pay the price.

My coworker was the assistance God sends. Natural help to get us on track. We are just as bad to them as we are to God.

I think we should take inventory of how we are relating to God, His help, and His helpers. I think we should examine what we have going on where His will is concerned.

I told a few people lately that I will never be truly happy, have true joy, or true peace unless I follow the will of God for my life.

I have been grudgingly accepting His will. However, how we go is just as important as actually going. I will be blessed for my yes. I will be rewarded more and have more ease walking into my yes with a better attitude.

I’ve had to, and still will, watch how I’m moving and what I’m saying. This life and walk is a process. I will never be perfect or get it right all the time. The fact that I am willing to check myself and grow is what’s important.

Tattoos and Pork

Funny title, I know. The day before yesterday, I got baby fussed at and told I know better because of the tattoos I have.

Leviticus 19:28 says: Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

So, to some, no tattoos allowed.

But, my thing is, are the people gonna stop eating pig (Leviticus 11:3)? What about shellfish and catfish (Leviticus 11:9-12; Deuteronomy 14:9-10)? (

Are the men and women gonna go back to wearing robes with different under garments?

Are the women gonna go elsewhere when that time comes every month since that made them unclean (Leviticus 15:19-30)?

The law, the Pentateuch, the Torah, Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy were for the children of God, Israelites, Jews in the Old Testament. While a tricky subject to define the differentiation, the Old Testament, especially the laws in the first five books, does not apply literally in every sense to New Testament believers, a.k.a Christians.

Jesus died and fulfilled the law making it no longer the thing that governs the lives of Christians in the same way that it did in the Old Testament (Matthew 5:17).

There are things about appearance discussed in the New Testament. But, per the revelation and understanding I have, it is more metaphorical than instructive.

We can’t just say one thing is wrong but the other or others are not. That’s my opinion. I didn’t really say much back. And I won’t. Cuz, at the end of the day, convictions are personal. It stinks that some things are just man made rules and traditions and are harmful.

However, I have spent enough time in my Bible and with Jesus to be okay doing me and not worrying about others, who have no heaven or hell to put me in, think. I used to care. But naaaaaaaah.

They didn’t save me, keep me, heal me, or deliver me. They don’t get to run what I do over here. And that’s on Mary had a little lamb.

I’m gonna go try to figure out how to be where the money reside. If you are clueless about how left this went, search the internet for those last two sentences and it will all make sense. 🙂


No thing, nothing, not one thing about this Christian life is supposed to be easy. Ion know where we got comfort and ease from. Surely not the Good Book.

Carrying a cross, denying yourself, dying daily are not easy. (Matthew 16:24; 1 Corinthians 15:31)

Allowing one’s sinful, iniquity filled self to me changed to mirror the sinless, beautiful perfection that is Jesus is not easy.

Being persecuted for the sake of righteousness, not easy. (Matthew 5:10)

This watered down, weakened version of life with Christ may be the reason we aren’t seeing the power and greater works he promised.

It would behoove us, be smart of us, to study the Jesus of the Bible and not what people have told us or erroneously shown us about Christianity.

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing

God showed me some stuff.

God told me some stuff.

I’m preparing and doing some stuff.

But Ion know what the manifestation will be of said stuff.

I have NO CLUE about what I’m doing.

I have NO CLUE about how this thang is gonna come together.

What I am doing is praying. A lot.

What I am doing is listening.

What I am doing is observing.

I don’t see it. Well the process.

But I see what I saw.

And I know what I heard.

I know His track record.

I know our relationship.

I know who He is.

So. Ima keep moving in the unknown.

Ima keep expecting Him to complete and perfect it.


Y’all finna catch these blogs on tuhday! Lol. Well tomorrow now. Oh well.

I’ve been busy and had the idea for this and another blog a couple days ago. I had a bunch of thoughts today and maybe yesterday too. They will be short but plentiful just like one day last week or the week before last.

I had a conversation with someone that irked me. I don’t wanna get into it cuz it isn’t important.

One of the issues they have had with me is my discussing other people’s relationship with God and called me judgmental.

I told them Jesus, the Bible, says we will know the tree by the fruit it bears (Matthew 7:15-20) .

I also broke down religion versus relationship to them. I had some stuff I wanted to say before our convo that I didn’t think they would receive. I was able to slip it in.

I think I talked about this recently, but, it bears repeating. God is not a genie, Santa, or a magician.

To be in relationship with God, reciprocity is necessary. Jesus told us so.

He said abide in me and my words abide in you and you can ask what you will (John 15:7). John told us if we ask according to His will he hears us (1 John 5:14). He said be holy for I am holy (Leviticus 11:44; 1 Peter 1:16).

While God rains on the just as well as the unjust (Matthew 5:45), we don’t get to just pray and expect God to do whatever we ask. That’s why some people doubt. They have a skewed view of prayer and relationship.

Some of what happens in our lives is us and we give God credit for stuff He had nothing to do with. Sorry if this is repetitive. But, it is important.

We are to cultivate a relationship with God. If we get His Word in us, get His vision for us, get His purpose for us, abide in Him, talk to Him, relate to Him, get to know Him, we will discover His will for us.

When we discover alla that, what we pray will become what He desires for us. Tongue twister and a but cyclical I know. Peep this.

I marry a man. We got to know each other before marriage. I discovered, and discover, his wants and needs, what he likes and doesn’t like. Because we have spent time together, I know exactly what to ask him when it’s time to cook dinner. If he likes steak and salmon, Ima ask if he wants one of those.

If he doesn’t like Brussels sprouts, even though I do, I’m not gonna ask him if he wants Brussels sprouts. I mean, I could. But he is never going to say yes to eating them. Ima, needlessly, end up frustrated, disappointed, and resentful cuz I keep asking for something I will never get a yes to.

So. If you are praying and believing but frustrated, make sure you are asking for the right thing. Make sure God is involved in your desires.

You can get the desires of your heart if you delight yourself in Him (Psalm 37:4). Not just because you ask. But because you have spent time with Him and know what He wants for you.

Yesterday’s Obedience Today’s Blessing

I had another convo. The person said something along the lines of do you know how often I’ve done this? The Lord is going to bless me.

They are doing something they have done before but not the way that most of the group they are doing it with is doing it.

It is interesting that they feel they are going to be blessed now because they are trying based off what they did in the past.

Don’t get me wrong. I think they will be blessed for their effort. Part of the modification is necessary based on what they have going on. Buuuuuuut the other part…judgmental a bit cuz Ion necessarily agree. But it isn’t my situation.

It just made me think that sometimes we expect to be blessed in the future because at some point in the past we did things right even if we are not currently doing them right. I don’t think that it works that way.

But hey, I could be wrong. It just seems odd that we would expect a blessing now and today for obedience yesterday that we are not functioning in today. I know we reap what we sow (Galatians 6:7). Buuuut. That way? I dunno. Kanye shrug…

Clean or Nah

First off. These are huge. Second. There are pictures of dirt and trash. Look away if you want. It will make sense in the end.

I was at someone’s home who has a dog. But the dog gets sick if it eats random crap. In order to let the dog be free and not get fussed at for eating stuff, I decided to vacuum the floor where the dog is allowed to roam.

As I vacuumed, it seemed like it wasn’t picking up what I was vacuuming. As you can see below, the tank looked empty. I was confused. So, I took it off and looked inside. All of that clumped stuff in the middle was in the hole on the vacuum and in the part that connects one of the hoses.

Since I cleaned the vacuum, I decided to just sweep up what was left after picking up the clumps. No need in dirtying up what I had JUST cleaned with the same dirt.

I put the vacuum back together and swept the carpet. I took the vacuum apart again and this is what I saw.

Now at first, I thought maybe I had missed all of that in the tank. But when I looked at the pictures again, I didn’t think that was the case. I think that is a bunch of dog hair.

That is what the filter looked like. I had a bag less vacuum and when it got dirty I washed off the filter. I decided to do that this time too.

I think I failed to upload a pic. Ion care. I’m not going to. Just know, it looked better when I applied water before applying any soap. This pic is after water and soap.

I told the person I washed it and they questioned me since it was going to get dirty again. They said they never thought to clean it. I let them know that I had before and at least it would be clean.

I have had several thoughts and lessons flit, come through my mind while typing this and intially forever ago when I created the post.

First of all. We may look clean but there is a whole lot of mess and stuff in us. If we don’t clean it out we will not work properly. Huh. Sounds similar to what I just wrote in Still There. This was a draft before that. I guess I had the same thought again though since it got published first.

Second. If there is more than one way to do something, and you have made progress with one way, why not try it another way? Aaaaaand. If you have cleaned up one area, don’t just mess it up again because it is easy to do what you have done.

I could have just vacuumed up the leftover dirt from pulling the packed dirt out. But why? A broom and dust pan is just as effective. I didn’t just do what was easy or what I had done and plug it back in and vacuum it back up.

Third. If we do use the same methods, go the same way, we may just have to clean again. But in a different way. Some different issue or consequence will arise. We don’t necessarily reap the way we sow or reap the same way we have reaped before (Galatians 6:7-8). I used the same vacuum on a different surface in a different area. I thought I missed the dirt. But, upon further inspection, it was different dirt in a different area of the vacuum.

Fourth and finally, just because all looked well and clean, that was NOT the case. In the pic of the trash can, it appears that the filter may just be dirty from the way I dumped the tank. However, upon further inspection when I flipped it, it was FILTHY. It was hidden.

What are we hiding? What have we cleaned some, cleaned one way, given to God some, given to Him one way but left dirty, held on to? He knows it ALL. Just give it ALL to Him. He wants it. He can handle it. Let Him be God! Let Him give us what He has promised us!

Galatians 6:9 (KJV) promises us good news: let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

I did not give up. I kept looking and made sure I found all of the dirt. I didn’t wash or wipe the whole thing. Just the filter. But my diligence, persistence, the fact that I kept going, ensured that the vacuum was cleaner and capable of functioning properly. Unlike the condition I found it.

Fooling with the vacuum wasn’t that hard. Examining myself sometimes is. I don’t always wanna act right. I don’t always wanna say the right thing. I just wanna be in my lil fleshly feelings. I mess up.

However, I am doing the hard work of trying to emulate, be like my friend, my brother, my lord, my savior, my Jesus. It has not been easy. It has hurt. It has been confusing. Like why that thang was dirty but I saw nothing.

But guess what? I see change. I see growth. I am obtaining the fruit of the spirit. I am hearing from God and getting alla this revelation in ways I wasn’t before.

I am cleaning my life, my relationships, my emotions, my mind, what I consume (entertainment, food, and conversation). I am making room and space for my relationship with Jesus.

Like I said the other day, it looks a mess on the outside. But, to me, this is the best life I have lived thus far. I’m content in the state I find myself in (Philippians 4:11).

Proverbs 8 (The Message MSG)

I am slightly disappointed. I had a whole post ready during a convo. Didn’t write it down. Just know, we were excited about it. Lol.

What I will say, cuz it came up too, don’t surround yourself with people who see who you used to be and don’t see who you are or who you are becoming. Don’t surround yourself with people who can’t support you and don’t listen to your heart.

Purpose, destiny, and goals are hard enough without having to defend them and you to others. Constructive, supportive criticism is necessary. Contrary doubt is not. Planes need wind to fly. Make sure you have the right wind.

Onto this delayed Proverbs post.

1-11 Do you hear Lady Wisdom calling?
    Can you hear Madame Insight raising her voice?
She’s taken her stand at First and Main,
    at the busiest intersection.
Right in the city square
    where the traffic is thickest, she shouts,
“You—I’m talking to all of you,
    everyone out here on the streets!
Listen, you idiots—learn good sense!
    You blockheads—shape up!
Don’t miss a word of this—I’m telling you how to live well,
    I’m telling you how to live at your best.
My mouth chews and savors and relishes truth—
    I can’t stand the taste of evil!
You’ll only hear true and right words from my mouth;
    not one syllable will be twisted or skewed.
You’ll recognize this as true—you with open minds;
    truth-ready minds will see it at once.
Prefer my life-disciplines over chasing after money,
    and God-knowledge over a lucrative career.
For Wisdom is better than all the trappings of wealth;
    nothing you could wish for holds a candle to her.

Wisdom and insight play no games. They aren’t here for the foolishness. Lol. Discipline and God-knowledge over money and career-I dig it.

12-21 â€śI am Lady Wisdom, and I live next to Sanity;
    Knowledge and Discretion live just down the street.
The Fear-of-God means hating Evil,
    whose ways I hate with a passion—
    pride and arrogance and crooked talk.
Good counsel and common sense are my characteristics;
    I am both Insight and the Virtue to live it out.
With my help, leaders rule,
    and lawmakers legislate fairly;
With my help, governors govern,
    along with all in legitimate authority.
I love those who love me;
    those who look for me find me.
Wealth and Glory accompany me—
    also substantial Honor and a Good Name.
My benefits are worth more than a big salary, even a very big salary;
    the returns on me exceed any imaginable bonus.
You can find me on Righteous Road—that’s where I walk—
    at the intersection of Justice Avenue,
Handing out life to those who love me,
    filling their arms with life—armloads of life!

Yo. Wisdom is the truth. According to the author, she gives us so much. It costs to get wisdom. The cost is worth it though. You get soooooo much in return!

22-31 â€śGod sovereignly made me—the first, the basic—
    before he did anything else.
I was brought into being a long time ago,
    well before Earth got its start.
I arrived on the scene before Ocean,
    yes, even before Springs and Rivers and Lakes.
Before Mountains were sculpted and Hills took shape,
    I was already there, newborn;
Long before God stretched out Earth’s Horizons,
    and tended to the minute details of Soil and Weather,
And set Sky firmly in place,
    I was there.
When he mapped and gave borders to wild Ocean,
    built the vast vault of Heaven,
    and installed the fountains that fed Ocean,
When he drew a boundary for Sea,
    posted a sign that said no trespassing,
And then staked out Earth’s Foundations,
    I was right there with him, making sure everything fit.
Day after day I was there, with my joyful applause,
    always enjoying his company,
Delighted with the world of things and creatures,
    happily celebrating the human family.

Sounds like wisdom was actually the first thing created. And it makes sense. Wisdom is a guide. In order to be guided there has to be a guide.

32-36 â€śSo, my dear friends, listen carefully;
    those who embrace these my ways are most blessed.
Mark a life of discipline and live wisely;
    don’t squander your precious life.
Blessed the man, blessed the woman, who listens to me,
    awake and ready for me each morning,
    alert and responsive as I start my day’s work.
When you find me, you find life, real life,
    to say nothing of God’s good pleasure.
But if you wrong me, you damage your very soul;
    when you reject me, you’re flirting with death.”

Tuh. We better take heed to wisdom….

The Carpenter’s Son

I really thought I was done for the day. I mean. I can find revelation in just about anything. But,I have never written and/or published this many blogs in one day. Must be somethin bout this 7th day. Completion and perfection or whatever. Anywho.

My auntie was singing this song, I Know it Was The Blood:

1 I know it was the blood,
I know it was the blood,
I know it was the blood for me.

One day when I was lost
He died upon the cross.
I know it was the blood for me.

2 They whipped him all day long,
They whipped him all day long,
They whipped him all day long for me. [Refrain]

3 They pierced him in his side,
They pierced him in his side,
They pierced him in his side for me. [Refrain]

4 He never said a mumblin’ word,
He never said a mumblin’ word,
He never said a mumblin’ word for me. [Refrain]

5 He hung his head and died,
He hung his head and died,
He hung his head and died for me. [Refrain]

6 He’s coming back again,
He’s coming back again,
He’s coming back again for me. [Refrain]

I started to say what I’m gonna write. I think I had already told her I was done. I know I told her this was the most and a lot. But the lady gassed me up. Real churchy. Talmbout that’ll preach and you’re walking real heavy. So here goes.

Some of this came from a messaage years ago. I don’t remember when or who and all that was said.

But. Tonight I asked my auntie if she realizes how. ntentional God was for Jesus to be born to a carpenter. He had to hear wood, the thing he came to die on, be manipulated, nailed, sawed, every single day until he was 30 and went into public ministry.

He had to have been taught his father’s trade. He could have been born to a publican, a priest, a levite, a fisherman, anybody else. But he was born to a carpenter. He had to be reminded of his mission daily.

Now this is for sure from the message. The preacher said something like could you imagine Jesus, as a baby, breastfeeding, hearing the sounds of Joseph with the wood and stopping to take note. Crazy.

I’m so glad it happened. However it happened. I’m so glad Jesus did it despite his human feelings, asking if the cup could pass but giving us the perfect example to accept the will of God in spite of ourselves and our feelings.

I’m really done now. I did Proverbs early so I wouldn’t be on here late and sleepy. Yet, here I am at almost 11. Ha. You’re gonna have to find the Scriptures yourself on this one. Lol. But it’s been a good God day!


I did not mean to post a gazillion things today. But the revelation. Maaaaan.

So. I’m helping someone and driving their car. I drive a Chevy Malibu. They drive a Buick Regal.

There’s an alert on their car where I have an info system. I let it be yesterday.

Today, I started pushing stuff on the steering wheel. I said Oops I’m messing with stuff. I asked how I could make the alert go away.

They asked what it was, knowing what it was, and said it won’t until they handle it.

I explained why I said something about it. I was like on my car I can see the speed without having to look at the speedometer. Then I was like, but this isn’t my car. Let me leave it alone cuz I drive a Chevy and this is a Buick.

I said it would preach and maybe I would remember later to write a blog post. Here we are.

We drive two totally different cars-not even the same make. They have different dash boards, different “operating syatems,” different everything, especially considering mine is a car and theirs is an SUV. Shoot. I keep hitting my knee when I get in.

I am in their car trying to drive it like it is my car. That won’t work. What’s theirs is theirs and what’s mine is mine.

I can’t operate what they have going on the way I operate what I have going on.

I saw my girl Shanicka Vail House (@shanickavailhouse on Instagram) post on her My Transparent (MOM)ents (@mytransparentmoments on Instagram) page about the story we often recall to illustrate minding our path and business our way. David couldn’t fit Saul’s armor and it would have been disastrous if he tried to stay Goliath wearing Saul’s armor (all of this is in 1 Samuel 17).

She didn’t go this deep. But. David had already killed large animals his way without the benefit of armor. So, based on his experience and his experience with God, he knew all he needed was that slingshot and five smooth stones.

The armor worked for Saul. It was custom made for Saul. Saul had experience being victorious with that armor. He worried because he didn’t know David’s way.

The purpose God has for us is singularly ours. The anointing for us is singularly ours.

Sure, we can glean from the testimony of others. But, I caution us against wanting the glory of others without knowing the story.

Saul didn’t know what it took for David to be able to stand in front of a giant unarmed. He was skeptical of David’s choice. But. David did something no other man could.

I can’t do what you or anybody else can. You can’t do what I or anybody else can.

Embrace the unique call and drive your car your way. Sure, you may have to be something to someone like Paul says when he says be all things to all people (1 Corinthians 9:22). Drive their car and give it back! Or maybe drive your car to suit then. But drop them off and go back to doing it your way.

Skkkkkrrrrrrt. There may be advice that will help you drive your car better. That’s what mechanics are for. Or people who have been driving longer. Don’t discount what may help you. But, don’t get caught up in others. God sends people and things to help. We just have to keep or take in what’s from Him and graciously discard the rest.

Okay. I’m done. Hopefully for the day. Cuz sheesh. All of this has been on my lil phone today. Even the drafts I edited.

Go with God and have good God day!


I started this on 12-24-20. I didn’t take the time to look up the Scriptures or edit I until today.

People like to take prominent Christians or Christian organizations to task about their stances om abortion and the LGBTQIA community. If the response isn’t sufficient, the individual or organization is subsequently canceled.

This baffles me slightly. People want respect, acceptance and tolerance for who they are and what they believe but are unable to give the same for others who hold different beliefs.

Those who are against abortion and the LGBTQIA community aren’t much better. Just because those are seemingly visible sins, they have the capacity to, and potentially do, sin. They have tolerance for what they deem “little” sin or their own sin.

Just because something is mentioned in the Bible as an abomination, there is no big sin or little sin. All of it separates us from God (Isaiah 59:2; Ephesians 2:12; Ephesians 4:18).

We don’t even have to “actually” sin to sin. The Bible says to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin. (James 4:17 KJV)

Jesus warned that there would be people who would do all this stuff in God’s name but he will say he didn’t know them at the day of judgment (Matthew 7:21-23).

There are things for me that are okay and not okay. Others view those things differently.

Here’s the thing that’s great. Our relationship with Jesus and salvation is an individual, personal thing.

We can share beliefs. We can disagree on beliefs. We should never condemn. We have no heaven or hell.

We can judge depending on the circumstance. If you profess Christianity, we can look at the Bible, Jesus, and his teaching. We can examine if your life lines up and if you are bearing fruit of relationship with him.

Now, I’m not saying go around with a clipboard and point out people’s faults. That’s too much judgment.

But, if I’m deciding if I’m going to take your advice, be a member of your church, be in any relationship of any kind, or we engage in conversation, I can try the spirit by the Spirit (1 John 4:1). I can assess what the fruit you’re bearing looks like (Matthew 7:16-20). That’s part of guarding your heart and using wisdom (Proverbs 4:23).

We are called to love. Jesus said so (Matthew 22:36-40). Our beliefs should never make peope feel unloved. Love came to earth and was crucified on a cross (John 3:16). Love took on sin so we could be sinless.

But, the sinlessness is a personal choice. Sinlessness is the decision we as individuals get to make based on the revelation we receive after reading the Bible and entering into relationship with God.

I’ve been too judgmental. I’m sure I will be again. Some of it is learned behavior. However, if I know to do good and don’t, it’s sin. I’m working on it. Amongst other things.

Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). That doesn’t mean we can just be out here wildin because we are loved. Love allows us to recognize and stop sinning. Love gave us salvation to remove the sin.

Love someone today-especially yourself.

Do It The Right Way

Soooooo the top picture is my mint plant from Walmart the day I got it. I like mint in my water. The package specifically said to get a pot with a tray. I couldn’t find one in Walmart or Dollar Tree. I did find the walrus named Winston. He came with his own dirt and mint seeds.

You can see what the caption for Snapchat said. SMH.

Between using the mint and likely death, the mint had to leave Winston. I attempted to be creative with the cups. I cut holes in the one on top and put water in the bottom one.

I remembered I had a self-watering pot from another plant that lost its life after five long years and several moves.

Ion know where I was originally going when I started writing this on 1-2.

The pot, well planter, still was not what the instructions said get. But, I went with it.

The thing was struggling. It was super wet when I took it out of its packaging and put it in Winston. It was decently wet when I moved it to the cups. I watered it when I moved it to the planter-not immediately I don’t think. Maybe I did since there was way more soil.

I attempted to prune it. I made sure it was in the sunlight. Gave it water occasionally. Well kinda often but not daily.

I ended up going out of town ans left them with my nature loving-she has actual degrees related to the outdoors and animals-coworker friend.

The plant got pruned and I was told I was giving it too much water so it was drowning. I asked if I needed to change the pot and soil. Chile I put leftover succulent soil from my dead other dead plant in it.

I was told no. I still felt like I should. So there we have the last picture. I rinsed the roots to put it in that soil. When I searched for ways to take care of my first plant, rocks in the bottom was suggested. I rinsed those too.

The thing is still struggling. It’s with my mom who had a mini forest in her room.

I said them above. I planted Winston’s mint in him. He was doing fine until I attempted to shift the soil so it would grow better since I didn’t plant the seeds right. He is struggling too.

Here’s the thing. I spent all this time, exerting all this effort, likely for naught unless my mom works a miracle. Impatient. Or some other thing. The stores I went to didn’t have what I needed.

I could have gone up the street and gotten exactly what I needed. I ended up doing that anyway. Who knows where my plant would be had I just done it the right way to begin with.

Who knows where we would be if we had just gone to God and done some things the right way to begin with.

How many wrong relationships, romantic and friend, have we exerted too much effort over?

How many tests and trials have dragged on or been repeated because we didn’t just take our time and do it the right way to begin with?

How much have we endured needlessly because we were impatient?

I suggest and submit for our consideration that we just do it the right way to begin with.

40 years in the wilderness for a trip that took days should be a lesson and something only the Israelites in Exodus endure. Not us.

Precarious Position

I just told God that my life is in a precarious position.

I am unemployed. I want some stuff I believe God told/showed me. But, I am at a standstill.

I told Him I wanted something earlier when I prayed. I was praying again I started to say, did say, I want. The same thing. As if He doesn’t know, didn’t hear me earlier,, or the other fiddylem times I’ve said it. But, I stopped myself.

I told Him above all I want His will. I told Him I feel like I’m standing still but I know I’m moving forward.

Then came the whole $100 phrase precarious position.

And then came the perfect illustration while replaying this in my mind.

When you stand on the beach where the water and sand meet, you do not physically move your body.

But, if you look down and pay attention to your body, the dance the tide and sand do cause you to move.

All you have done is position yourself to live life at the beach, enjoy the beach.

But, you have moved and changed positions while being still and faithful to your mission at the moment.

This has blessed my whole life writing it. The church people say when they preach that the message was for them first and it blessed them. I concur fa sho on tuhday!

No Jonah Part Two

I just had to gather myself.

Someone said I hope everything goes great.

I almost said it’s gonna go.

I course corrected and said it will.

I have to fix my mouth and my attitude.

If God sent me He is going to go before me and make the crooked places straight (Isaiah 45:2).

Life and death are in my tongue (Proverbs 18:21).

Woman’s promised son was dead. She went to the man of God. She didn’t complain. She started off telling people it shall be well. As she got closer to the prophet, she said it is well. Even though her son lay dead, she didn’t speak what she saw. She spoke what she knew to be possible after having a son she never expected to have. (2 Kings 4:8-37)

Just because I know how it has been doesn’t mean I know how it will be.

I have to make God big. Bigger than me. Bigger than my feelings. Bigger than my assumptions. Bigger than my circumstances.

Because nothing is too hard for him (Jeremiah 32:27).


Hate to break it to us…the change of the year isn’t some magic spell.

I’ve said I was ready for the new year, throw 2020 away. It’s been team too much.

What I’ve come to realize and understand about this year is so simply profound.

Some of us lost some stuff to grow. Some of us won some stuff to grow.

Regardless, the mere fact that we have made it through 2020 en route to 2021 is a miraculous blessing in and of itself.

Of all the things I’ve learned, the one I think matters most is this: miracles aren’t always big, huge, events.

The scale moving in the right direction was a miracle.

Keeping my mouth closed when I wouldn’t have before is a miracle.

Letting people go was a miracle.

Apologizing and welcoming people back was a miracle.

Forgiving was a miracle.

Moving forward in immense pain under stress was a miracle.

So, no, no magic in less than 12 hours. But another opportunity for another miracle.

No Jonah

I just uttered the words “God, I don’t want to do this.”

I was talking about a heavy task and assignment as I logged into my computer at work. It hit me that I haven’t worked in nine days. I don’t wanna do this either.

I’ve known some of this task was coming for a decade. I’ve known about another part for ion know how long. Buuuuut the heaviest part? Bruh. That’s new to me.

I gotta say some stuff ion really wanna say to people who aren’t the best at listening to what I have to say.

I don’t think I’m better than them or they are undeserving. I just don’t wanna be the one. But nobody else will. Nobody else is.

I’ve questioned this thing for most of these 10 years. At times I ignored it. Didn’t talk about it. Didn’t do anything to accomplish it.

At times I was gung ho and on board. I was here for it.

Now I feel the weight of thr responsibility. On the precipice of it. At the moment I have to jump, do, be.

I’ve been told that I have to do it because I don’t want to. Interesting but not altogether faulty or untrue logic. I will have everything I need.

That doesn’t change my feelings. But I’m not gonna be like Jonah. I’m gonna do it. I’m not gonna make a mess by running.

Who I was before wasn’t ready. I suppose who I am now is. That still doesn’t make it easier.

I have to remind myself of the end goal, the purpose. That’s what matters. Not how difficult or uncomfortable. But, what will happen when I do it.

Here goes nothing…..

Well…About That Winter Solstice Post

I told someone about that last post. They went in on me. I didn’t say much back. I had thoughts but didn’t share them.

First, I said we as Christians in the post. I probably should have said some of us. The we I was talking about is the we I know personally.

I was told that Christmas is the only time some people all gather collectively. I was told that’s when people forgive and heal and mend.

I was told that coming together honors God because he’s about family. I was told that it is a time of love-or something like that.

I was told that there are people who focus solely on Jesus or their higher power around the world.

I think I was told that it shouldn’t be all Jesus and praying and calling his name all day.

I said Happy Winter Solstice. I was told that the solstice is steeped in witchcraft. I said that makes the addition of Christmas at that time of year WORSE!!!!!

I was told more but don’t remember.

Again, I was a slight punk and didn’t respond much. I was told that I had a point after all of the other stuff.

My reply now? Why are we waiting until the whole year has passed to make time for our family? If God is all about family, should we not make more time?

Why are we waiting until the whole year has passed to mend and heal and forgive? Should we not be loving on each other more?

The big one. Why can we not take a day, a fast of sorts, not at Christmas cuz ya know, to sit in the miracle that is the birth of Jesus?

He did, and does, SOOOOOOOOO much for us. The sacrifice of a day meditating, living solemnly, with what he did ever before our minds seems like a small thing in the grand scheme of things.

But hey. That’s just me. Different strokes for different folks.

I am a rebel of sorts. Just because it’s been done a certain way forever doesn’t mean it has to be that way forever.

There are things I examine and question. If it doesn’t make sense, I’m not down for it.

I’m not here for perpetuating stuff cuz it “worked” for someone else. I could care less if I’m the odd one out.

I’ve tried fitting in. It still didn’t go well. So. I have decided to just do me while others do them.