Well here I am again. I must have made resting up and didn’t hear that from God. Lol.
I started another blog and I may write it but I’m honestly probably just gonna go with this title and write it here. But here’s what it was:
To quote my nephew, I “crack me out”. Silly.
But I have been fighting. For a long time. And I’m gonna have to fight til I die.
I love really hard and really intensely. I am not ashamed to admit it may be a trauma response. But it also may just be ME. Haha.
I go all out and ppl reciprocate to a degree. I’ll be cool with it. Then somewhere along they way they drop your girl. They never really say why or have a good reason. I know why. I’ll get there.
I try and try and try. Forcing it. Trying to, to quote Mean Girls, make fetch happen. I end up upset and hurt. And then I’m done. I’m out. I run away. But then, for some reason I go back.
I feel like I’ve treated God and my purpose the same way. I feel like I’ve done to Him what has been done to me because somehow I feel like He’s doing to me what they did. My goodness.
Um. No sis. Read ya Bible girl. Trials and tribulations were a guarantee. 🗣 means go find your Bible and make sure I know what I’m talking about. He promised a Comforter. 🗣 To be with you. 🗣 Sis. It went down just like He said. You trippin girl.
Lol. But facts. We have this romanticized version of life with Jesus. Nah. We gotta go through just like Him. And we gotta be patient with ppl like He was.
Like. Some people are not for me. My first name means consecrated to God. Set aside for a sacred purpose. And endeared. I know I’ve mentioned this. So ya girl ain’t meant to have alla these friends even though who she is causes her to be loved or liked. Haha. The ppl are a fan but they don’t stay cuz they can’t. That is honestly a perfect description. Huh. Interesting.
That middle name though? God is gracious. Biiiiiig FACTS. I’ve received soooooo much grace. But at times, I haven’t been so gracious. Shame on me.
We should be more than willing to extend what has been extended to us. But life and trauma don’t make that the easiest. It is super easy to see people how you would operate and not consider how life has made them operate.
Grace should be gracious. Salvation was the ultimate gift of grace. We should be mindful of that and afford it to others as often as possible. This is TRULY a lesson for me right now. It’s rough trying to guard your heart and protect and care for yourself while being gracious. It’s not gonna be cute or easy. But it is SUPER possible. Because we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us. 🗣
Go be great. Someone is counting on it.