Phantom

I’m so proud of myself for resting.

Bahahahahaha. Lies. I’ve been too busy to write. But I couldn’t ignore this one anymore.

In the grateful series that God is still orchestrating, I talked about my car being wrecked. This should probably be a part of the series but whatevs.

I have had my car for almost six years. I’m used to the keylessness of it all. I push a button to open any door. I push a button to open the trunk. I push a button to start the car.

A couple of months ago, I even started engaging the parking brake per a suggestion of my sister who only needed brakes after 11 years doing that.

I’m used to the gas tank being on the passenger’s side. I’m used to my lights automatically being on.

So you should know, a keyed/fob entry, keyed ignition, keyed/fob trunk entry, no pedal parking brake, light differences, and different gas tank placement has me all discombobulated.

I’ve tried to enter my rental like I’m in my car.

I’ve tried to start the rental like my car.

I’ve tried to put gas in the rental like my car.

I was confused as to why the interior was dark when. I’d seen the lights on rhought i was good. But, in actuality, drove in the dark without lights for days. I’m mighty grateful for His protection.

My car dings and won’t fully lock if the keys are left anywhere inside. Chiiiii. Not this rental. I deeeeeeef left the keys in the trunk and didn’t unlock the car. My fear came to fruition.

But, just like in Grateful, I didn’t trip. It was my fault and a passionate or angry response would solve nothing.

Phantom movements. Kinda like phantom pain. When one no longer has a limb but there is pain that exists where the limb should be.

Part of the reason I was too busy to write is because we had Holy Convocation for my church’s organization last week. I’m speechless about it. It was so good. I can’t gather the right words. But. I believe it was Bishop Rosie O’Neal who dropped a gem that hit me square in the chest.

Chiiiiii. Ya girl needed that. Because I’m in the middle of so many things that are like what I’ve been through.

I’m trying to have faith and believe that they won’t turn out the same way. I mean, I made it through. Buuuuuut I didn’t want to have to be here. Again. However, between just the two of us, He reminded me it is different. Then He sent His servant to tell me.

I gotta go through this phantom pain though. I gotta endure the memory of the past as He creates a new future. I gotta endure what looks familiar…oooooooh. Gaaaaaah…to get to what is new. I gotta rehearse our track record to add another thing to our resume.

It just hit me that I said our. Faith requires me to be an active participant in my miracles. The whole faith without works is dead of it all. πŸ—£ has finally shown up. That’s a Scripture for you to please look up to ensure that I’m not just out here in these streets making stuff up.

Abraham had to obey the go God gave him. He ended up doing some things the same way in order to get where he was going (lied to two kings and called Sarai/Sarah just his wife is just one example). πŸ—£πŸ—£πŸ—£πŸ—£πŸ—£

We not even gone get into po lil tink Joshua. πŸ—£ The faith on that guy.

David running for his life. πŸ—£

The woman with the issue of blood. πŸ—£

The blind man. πŸ—£

All the different instructions Peter got: come while on the water, feed my sheep, don’t call unclean what I have called clean. πŸ—£πŸ—£πŸ—£

It’s the whole faith to faith πŸ—£and glory to glory πŸ—£ of it all. It’s like building blocks. You start out with one and then add more to it. They look the same but they are different. You pick them up expecting to do the same thing. But, depending on your structure and the way the block is made, you can’t just use them the same.

Chiiiii. I’m tired and don’t know how much this makes sense all together. But this is what we got. Lol.

Just trust the voice and word of God. It may look and feel crazy. The same. Different. A mess. But He knows the way we take. πŸ—£ Somethin bout Him knowing His plans and His ways and thoughts being different, higher. That’s multiple πŸ—£πŸ—£πŸ—£.

Go be great. Someone’s counting on iiiiiiiituh!

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