To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David. I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1 King James Version
I am soooooo overwhelmed at the moment.
When I was a child I decided that my goal was to become an attorney.
In the fall of my senior year of high school I flipped out.
I asked my mother what if I didn’t get into law school and what if I didn’t pass the bar. She did the whole you will positivity thing.
I, in fact, did not get into law school right out of college. A no and a wait list. On the wait list two years in a row.
I only applied to one college for undergrad (crazy I know. I took a biiiiiig faith swing with that one) and I was going to major in history and teach as a backup.
I transferred after my freshman year. Those jokers told me five years instead of four. I was like nah. I’m out.
While it was slightly disappointing to not get into law school then, I made it four years later.
I would LOVE to say I passed the bar. Did not. Twice. I knew I wasn’t going to either time. I wasn’t that disappointed to be honest. A lil bit to be sure.
So now, 17 years later, I just got a position as a long term sub teaching history. But God got jokes. I said never middle school. And that’s where I’ll be.
I obediently put resources in the memo line for my offering a week and a half ago. Not even a job. Cuz if having to do Instacart was what I was going to have to keep doing, I was gonna be content in that state (haha. We didn’t get by without Scripture. 🗣 means look it up.).
It’s amazing how God warned me before what could have been life altering, earth shattering disappointment.
It’s amazing how God allowed me to be okay in 2005 with what would take place in 2022.
He is just so mindful and intentional.
It took Abraham years to see the promise.
It took Joseph years to see his dream(s).
I forgot to do something so sorry if it seems out of place here. I said it has been 17 years. I was 17 when I freaked out.
Per biblestudy.org, 17 means overcoming the enemy and complete victory. I scanned it super quickly and didn’t see anything about Joseph. But I KNEW ther was some 17 involved with him.
Per scripturerevealed.com, Joseph was 17 when he was sold into slavery and his father was told that he was dead. He went THROUGH a process 🗣.
Dude legit told his brothers what they meant for evil God meant for good 🗣. And did. He was reunited with their father for 17 years. The intentionality of God is so mind-blowingly beautiful. He does stuff like this to show that He isn’t some old, out of date, out of touch, far away mystery. He is the SAME God now that He was when the Bible was written.
It took David awhile to be placed on the throne.
I didn’t understand what God was doing. I didn’t like it. I told Him so.
But I kept looking for Him. And I will keep looking for Him. I didn’t care how crazy it looked or how crazy it felt.
My feet and faith followed His Word and not my eyes, brain, feelings, or opinions of others.
It’s crazy to have a whole law degree and be relegated, forced to, deliver groceries and such.
But I wasn’t above it. He sustained me. He allowed me to serve and minister and meet people I would have never met. It grew me. It made me a better me and Christian.
Because I sought to be content where I was 🗣, when my pastor told me to type in the memo of my offering what I wanted God to do, I simply said resources. Not a job.
As the week came to a close, I realized they hadn’t come. He reminded me of an option I had. I reached out to my cousin, did what she told me, after ignoring someone else’s suggestion then remembering, and now I will be employed making the most money I have EVER made.
Yesterday morning, before I was officially hired,, I changed my necklaces out. The one I took off said Grace ❤Mercy. The one I put on said 828. The Romans 8:28 of it all.
Then I did something I really couldn’t afford to if I looked at my bills and bank account and not the instruction of Jesus. But it was beneficial to me. It blessed me tremendously though it was a sacrifice.
Yet and still not having been officially hired, I went to the store and got something half off because it was shelved wrong. At full price it was out of budget.
WHO. WOULDN’T. SERVE. A. GOD. LIKE. THIS?
Also, as my pastor would have us say: And God did it!!!!!
I have not shied away from admitting how hard this has been. I told someone yesterday before all of this that I was coming up the rough side of the mountain. I said I was dropping weight as I got higher. I said He was cutting out what didn’t need to be in me. I said He was perfecting me. Not knowing what the day had in store.
Just trust the process. Try Him. Truly surrendered. Cuz I wasn’t. I was hesitant about some stuff. But it got to the point where I just gave up. I told Him to just take it. To just have it. Whatever. So I could truly have joy and truly have peace in His perfect will for me.
Go be great. Bruh. Yo life depends on it.