Who Do You Love

Are you for sure? Shout out to the minstrels who gave us this one back in the day. I’m not going to tag them. Lol.

I just made a comment and called myself boo. A term of endearment.

I hid some old posts cuz who I used to be wrote them. Who I am and am becoming is different. The man of God talked about no residue after I decided to do it. Confirmation from an intentional God.

In those old posts, I introduced myself. And what you say to me every time you call my name.

Cuz, that’s what people used to do in the Bible.

Years ago a book came out and was all the rage. It was about Jabez. The Prayer of Jabez I believe.

I don’t remember what his name meant. Please go find the Scripture 🗣. It wasn’t anything good.

The prayer he prayed was, in my opinion, a conscious, intentional decision to come against what he was named. What he meant to those…oh Lord…around him when he was born. Not who God saw when he created him.

I said, in Words, Words, Words, that what we say matters. The Bible says so. He decided that he no longer wanted to be saddled by the pronouncement that a hurt, fallible, frail human made at their lowest moment.

In New Testament terms, he bound that thang in earth and heaven. 🗣 He cursed it. 🗣 He came against what exalted itself against the knowledge of God. 🗣

This life of mine hasn’t been sunshine and roses. Especially after I was fortunate enough to receive the gift of salvation at nine. It’s been at my hand and the hands of others.

But, my good and saved parents made a choice to give me a name. The made the choice based on the naming pattern that existed in my mom’s family. I have different stories on how it came to be. And I’m not quite sure they looked it up.

However, at some point I came to know that Karlissa means endeared and consecrated to God. Ann means God is gracious.

Endear means to cause to become beloved or admired. I’ve struggled with feeling loved cuz ya girl’s relationships. See That’s All They Know-Keep Building. Shoot. Friendships count. Buuuuuuu I think I know why.

This next word may be to blame. There are several definitions for consecrate but this is the best one: dedicated to a sacred purpose. It basically means to set aside, apart. And the whole to God. This makes me think of Samuel and Eli when Samuel was a boy. 🗣 Esp cuz of how he ended up with Eli. 🗣

If you are consecrated you can’t just do anything. You can’t just be with anybody. You can’t just say anything. You gotta be different. Above reproach. You gotta move in ways not everyone can. I have struggled to hold on to people. Because I couldn’t have them.

I’m just a different human. People have told me this. I can see it myself. It’s lonely. It’s hard. But. For what he created me for? It’s necessary.

I’ve tried and failed too many times to count to separate myself as required. One of the many reasons I KNOW God is gracious. Chances to get it right!

Hard as it is, at this point I’m over it. I gave God a true, unequivocal, totally surrendered yes and meant it. He is definitely coming to collect.

It’s hard and it hurts. But I’m so close to purpose. I gotta get me together and only surround myself with and be involved with what and who will serve me on my way and once I get there.

I’m beyond being a try hard pick me. If you don’t wanna fool with me? It may sting depending on who you are and how it went down.

But, I’ve developed enough self esteem and self worth to be okay with me and God. He has loved me and sent people to help me love me. That’s why, how I can call myself boo.

I’ve unpacked trauma and generational curses in my bloodline. I’m determined to be who I am supposed to be and all that entails. If I’m not for some people that just has to be okay.

Being a people person who has been hurt makes it hard to be consecrated. But I owe God. And He’s gone get what He’s due from me.

Go be great. Someone is counting on it.