Obedience Amnesia

It is so interesting that I’m writing stuff that seems to be contradictory. Haha. I wrote about us forgetting what God has done. Now, I’m about to tackle forgetting the hard parts of obedience.

I recently got a messed up tattoo fixed. It still isn’t perfect. This is the fourth tattoo in that spot. I’m done now. It’s gone have to be okay.

I always say they aren’t that bad. With one exception. The right foot hurt worse than the left. The others are on my wrists forearm.

The things is, the ones that didn’t hurt were just words. Simple lines and done. This guy I got fixed required shading and filling in. I forgot that it isn’t nice and simple. And the one on my right foot. Chi. It is just hearts and letters. But the placement. The hearts were supposed to be filled completely. I compromised and the outside was shaded. Cuz the pain.

Anywho. Back to the latest one. It was slightly painful. But I’m a G. I sat still and ENDURED that thing.

He put some new, fancy bandage thing on. He said no more lotion or ointment. Chiiiii that was a surprise. I had already considered what I was going to buy. He said those were a thing of the past.

The lil stuff was supposed to last 3-5 days but he was doubtful since it was my wrist. It would have lasted if not for getting wet at the wedding. Cuz that was an extra decent amount of water compared to how I got it wet before. Cuz I was showering. Lol. It would have lasted at least three days. Haha.

All was well. He said antibacterial soap after it came off. I did nothing really. I’ve just let them be eventually before.

Here’s where the true amnesia comes in. The healing process. A tattoo is tiny cuts to inject ink. You have to scar. Which itches. And scabs. But you can’t scratch or you’ll mess up the tattoo.

The healing process is THE WORST part. There is stuff falling off. The tattoo and your skin look ugly. The inability to scratch, scratch is maddening.

Now, I have two places I am going with this. I’m gonna go with the new one I just got first. When we are hurt, it is painful. I think healing from it is the most painful part.

People and things hurt us. We forgive and heal and get back up. We have to. We are cool with them/it and go on about life. Sometimes we entertain the same or something similar. But, sometimes, because we forgave, we forgot what happened the last time.

This time, healing is THE WORST. Because we are upset that we had amnesia and let it happen again. On one hand, at times, we should be like God and forgive and forget like He does our sin (Micah 7:19; Romans 4:7-8).

At other times, we gotta learn and not cast our pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6). We can’t keep going back like a dog to vomit (Proverbs 26:11). Prayer illuminates which path to take.

Now, for where I was really going. It is so easy to say yes and obey. It is so easy to be excited about moving forward and towards the ultimate goal of purpose He showed.

However, we can sometimes forget what obedience feels like once we get there. The doubt and questions. How it doesn’t seem to feel right. Or look right.

When I started this, I had no idea what Scripture was gonna tie in. I rarely do when I start. I loosely thought the children of Israel. They work to a degree.

As they wandered and got closer to the Promised Land, they had a different kind of obedience amnesia though. They forgot how good God had been. A result of the slavery they endured I’m sure.

What’s crazy though is that eventually, those who doubted and gave Joshua grief were never enslaved in Egypt. They were taught to doubt. They were taught to live in the trauma of someone else’s.

Let’s not do that, okay? If we have started, let’s give the trauma to Jesus and move forward with the truth of where we have been and not where others have.

Abraham and Sarah fit better. God kept telling them to go. He kept reiterating the promised child and the Promised Land and the promised people. They kept going but made mistakes.

They had a hard time believing Isaac was coming so they created Ishmael with Sarah’s handmaid.

Honestly, this still doesn’t really fit. Ima keep at it though. Abraham lied to a king. Well kinda about Sarah being his sister. She was. But, she was also his wife. The king found out and wasn’t pleased. Abraham was scared of what would happen if he admitted she was his wife since the king could do what he wanted.

All was well. Abraham did it again later. He clearly forgot or didn’t want to take chances. As though God didn’t come through. This king was displeased as well. Abraham isn’t recorded as doing it a third time.

He was obedient but forgot how God took care of him.

I’m just gonna go with me. Lol. I forget how hard it can be having to be still and wait on what’s to come after I go where I feel led to go. I forget about the pain of the needle. I forget about the scabbing and healing. How it is ugly.

And that’s a good thing. If I don’t remember the process, I won’t hesitate to keep going towards purpose. I gotta forget how the sausage is made or I’ll never get to enjoy just how great it tastes.

Sometimes, a little forgetfulness is a blessing. Because, if we’re not careful, we’ll wind up remembering the hard parts or what may go wrong and make mistakes. Ot almost forfeit the future. Don’t be like Abraham and the children of Israel in their worst moments.

Ooooooooh. Be like Joseph! This is long enough. I’ll write about him later.