I Quit.

J/K. But I really wanted to just bury my head and take a break from life. If I’m honest, that has happened more times than I care to count. I have actually chucked the deuces and backed up from my relationship with Jesus more times than I care to count.

I have known part of my purpose since I was 14 years old. Going on 21 years. My life was no picnic before that and it has definitely not been one since then.

It is difficult to me to be me. I get that other people my have it worse. That doesn’t negate what I’ve endured. What I’m enduring.

I CANNOT quit. I CANNOT let my foot off of the gas. I have to do what I have to do in this moment to get where I’m supposed to be. This is the last time some of this particular stuff will go on. I’m not dealing with it any longer. I will have done everything possible to handle it.

I gave it to Jesus long ago. But, I’m not the only person involved. I am doing something I have never done. Cuz I want it to be OVER. Maybe it ends. Maybe it gets better. That is a possibility. What I do know is that I’m not putting up with it. I don’t have time or energy to continue in the cycle of this particular foolishness. I’ve walked away and gone back. Had to.

I don’t feel obligated after it is addressed. Either the people involved do what I need them to do or I do what I need to do for me, my future, and those attached to my future. Make no mistake, it will be a hard sacrifice to walk away. But, I have before and I will again. They will have to meet me where I am. There’s nothing wrong with boundaries and standing up for yourself. Selfishness has its necessary moments.

So. Don’t quit. Figure out what you need to learn and what you need to do. Have the conversations. Make the hard decisions. You are responsible for you. Nobody will take care of you like you. And, if God is involved, it will all work together for good. Romans 8:28. Believe it. Cuz it’s true.

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