I really wanna know. This was not what I planned.
I was supposed to be married with 2 or 4 kids.
I was supposed to be somebody’s attorney.
I was supposed to be living in GA or CA.
I am none of those things, have none of those things, and am doing none of those things.
I have no idea when I will be any of those things, have any of those things, and do any of those things.
And honestly, if this was another time or place in my past I would be frustrated in the worst way.
Within the last year. Thats still my past *shrug*.
Somewhere along the way I decided to be content for the most part.
I have days and moments but it dowsnt rise to earth shattering depression that causes me to question the world around me and desire to crawl out of my life.
There are so many unknowns that I yale to God in prayer and just keep moving.
I still question things. But it is in a healthy way to ensure I’m good.
I dont have answers. And that’s ok.
There is something clearly beneficial in just being and taking this daily as they come.
I would suppose this classifies as WALKING by faith.
I accept where I am at the moment and have future plans. But I’m not so committed to them that there is no room for me to step into the will of God.
Are you as confused? I feel like this blog is confusing. Lol.
Just go with it. I’m special and I know it. Maybe these thoughts should have stayed in my head.
But here they are.
Maybe they are just a bookmark that I’ll look back on and remember where I was and what I was doing (on a plane in airplane mode typing in Samsung notes for a copy and paste job when get wifi praying that this person with this ghastly gas is okay as my olfactory nerve is being singed).
Dont give up.
There is always a method to the madness…even if it takes a while.