How odd for a Christian to not go to church. I honestly never thought I would be anything less than a faithful church attendee.

But the reality is this: after 26 years of mostly faithful attendance, the past 5ish years has been spotty and mostly nonexistent.

To many that’s baffling. Especially some of the people I’m closest too. I was hardcore active and present every time the doors opened. For a multitude of reasons, I even chose to go to church instead of seeing my cousin when she came in town. 🙈

I’m not a perfect Christian or person. I’m human. But you learn a few things, see a few things, by being a halfway decent Christian according to mainstream standards for 26ish years.

There are a couple of the many churches I have attended that are my favorite. It’s hard for others to measure up. Not to mention my distillation of the Bible I read and believe has led me to a complex conclusion with strong held convictions.

For comparison’s sake-when it comes to church I’m kinda a snob. Like Starbucks diehards. Or many iPhone owners.

When you’ve experienced the best why settle? Especially when it is something as important as a relationship with Jesus and salvation.

I won’t get into all of my beliefs and the inherent contradictions. I am well aware that all of this many not be kosher when considering what scripture has to say.

But I read my Bible. I could do better at that. I talk to Jesus. I could do better at that too.

We are all striving and can all do better. Where I am right now is good enough for me. That sounds slightly horrible as I tap it out.

I just don’t want to go to church for the sake of going to church. That’s religion. I’d rather have a relationship any day.

People don’t trust their kids with just anybody. Why should I do that with my church attendance?

Maybe I’ll find somewhere. Maybe I’ll find something. Maybe I should be more proactive. But maybe, just maybe, I’m fine just where I am right now.