I’ve dealt with invisibility for a long time. And in more than one sense of the word. One one hand I’ve felt invisible to others around me. If not invisible then taken for granted or discounted.
I’ve also dealt with wanting to be invisible. At times I had no desire to be seen or heard because of life’s circumstances.
Regardless, I honestly think part of the issue is the fact that I have something to say. Whether it be now or ahead. Often our greatest gifts produce the greatest struggle.
I’m trying to prepare myself for where I’m going. And right now that means dealing with the fact that what I bring seems insignificant or irrelevant.
The thing I know is this: God sees me. Though hard, that’s got to be enough. I know others see me but people don’t always praise you. And for where I’m going, I don’t think I’m meant to be praised right now. I think there is value and something beneficial in my invisibility.
I am choosing to be me and do me in certain aspects. In other aspects, I’m taking the lower seat, the last one. If I take this lower seat as the last one God will exalt me and eventually I’ll be first. I just have to endure. And enduring isn’t always fun or easy.
But I’m dying daily. And that’s really important. I want to stay humble and grounded no matter where I go. And this here invisibility will assist me.
Sure, I could go left and lose my mind when I’m not so invisible. But I’m praying that I don’t. I believe that I won’t since the one I’m praying to won’t be a fan of my pride…