Choosing Me

I decided around my 29th birthday to make changes so my life will be different when I enter a new decade. I looked at my life and decided that things had to change. I felt as though I’ve been in a wilderness going through the same things. I have a vision for my future and goals. I decided that 2016 and 30 were going to be my promised land.

I’ve been praying and improving my relationship with Jesus and myself. A lot of things have been exposed. And a lot of things are coming to a breaking point. I decided to no longer put up with things, people, and behaviors I am not happy about.

There are definite growing pains. People aren’t happy. They don’t like or understand. But they don’t have to. For so long I’ve taken the lower seat, bowing, bending, and twisting. Conforming to others’ desires and feelings often at the expense of my own.

But I’ve come to realize that I’ve got to be happy. I’ve got to live my life for me, sacrificed to God. I’m not going to get it right every day. I can’t worry about or focus on anything but what the will for my life is and what’s best for me.

If that means secluding myself and offering only the pieces that certain people can handle, that’s what I have to do. I have to guard my heart. I can’t trust people or put confidence in them. People have and will let me down.  I have to be true to myself and look out for myself.

This is by no means is a proclamation that I am going to be unkind. I think that one of my best attributes is my ability to give and be kind. But I can’t give to people who abuse it. I deserve to be respected because I respect others. If people are unwilling to give me what I give them then they no longer deserve the privilege of my presence.

I’ve attempted this and failed before. I can’t and won’t do it again. My future looks so amazing. I’ve got to take steps go get there and protect it, and me, by any means necessary. I’m up for the challenge. ☺😊😆

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