Late Night Musings

I had a blog in mind. It’s a draft. It may get written it may not. Oh well. Been dealing with a lot of foolishness this past month. There is one common denominator.

I’m stuck in a situation. I thought I prayed about it. I was slightly pushed into it. I may have reacted to little things too hastily. I definitely wanted to help not just me. But it’s been a point of contention and difficult for me far more than it has been pleasant.

Though life could have robbed me of my heart and kindness, I chose to let go and strive earnestly to be like Christ. My situation isn’t as dire, but it reminds me somewhat of Hosea marrying his unfaithful wife.

I can’t say with certainty this situation was at the leading or in the will of God or even that He told me to do it like He told Hosea. But Hosea’s intentions were honorable like mine. He kept at it.

I’m sure people called him crazy. Nobody’s called me crazy to my face about it. They are concerned and feel bad for me. I’ve had to constantly defend myself. I’ve tried not to “go there” but when you poke a bear…?

This situation will be over in less than a year. I’m going to honor requests that have been made that go against my nature. And I’m going to stick with it even if back peddling occurs.

People teach you how to treat them. I’ve tried to teach how I want to be treated. The lesson isn’t being learned. But I’ll learn the lesson I’m being taught. And I’m gonna try to be angry and not sin. I’m going to try to let the Lord repay the vengeance that’s his.

Jesus was confrontational without being disrespectful. His existence before he even spoke a word confronted the nature of the world as it existed then. And when he opened up his mouth? If I can’t stand firm and hold to my convictions in this space what will happen if a bigger space opens? I won’t be able to handle it.

God equips. It’s up to us to pay attention, learn the lessons, and be prepared to move into where He takes us.

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