Single and (Mostly) Satisfied

I’ve mentioned before I don’t get why marriage is so import and why it is the ultimate end game. Mariage is honorable. The marriage bed is undefiled. It’s better to mary than to burn. Marriage enables the world to be populated.

I get all that. It’s one of the first things that existed in the Bible. But Paul never married. Paul talked about being single. He advised that being single allows one to devote more time to service to God. The Bible tells us that some won’t ever marry.

So why do we only focus on one thing in “the church”? “The world” seems to value marriage to a certain degree. Companionship period is important to the world. So human nature as a whole places a premium on being with somebody.

It is important for humans to have interaction. It helps us to be us and to be great. But why is my sexuality questioned when I am single and not looking? Why are people incredulous,  indignant even, when I don’t want a man or want to be a member of an online dating service or don’t want to go speed dating?

I know my past. Even though I’m not her anymore, I am still vulnerable where relationships are concerned. It is easy to be distracted and lose yourself when you are looking and/or are in a relationship. I have other things, school, personal goals, spiritual goals, to focus on and worry about.

The Bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. I heard a preacher say a woman can help herself be found. Some people think a woman can find a man. I don’t know which I agree with. I do know I’ve ended up in a world of trouble trying to find him myself.

I finally know who I am. Or am getting to fully know me. I would like a relationship. But at this moment I know better. There are certain things I feel one needs to bring to a marriage and I’m not there yet. God takes two to create one. He doesn’t take a piece and a piece. That’s just pieces. I think it takes more wholeness for a marriage than a relationship. Perfection isn’t required, but I think you should accomplish yourself what you seek in others.

I think I’m whole enough for a relationship. But at 27 who is dating to date? I don’t know where I’ll land when I’m done with school. Is it fair to put somebody in limbo? I know people do things for love, but is it fair?

I can honestly say I know I’ll be alright if I never marry. I don’t know too many people who only want to adopt kids. I want to adopt a toddler IF I even have kids and…TMI for a blog. I have male friends and at the moment that is good enough 99.9% of the time.

I know God grants you the desires of your heart. But you also have to ask according to His will. I want His will. I want joy. I want peace. I want to be and do what I was not just called to be and do but what I was chosen, created to be and do. That may or may not include a family. I am almost completely content in the state I’m in. And with his help I will, and as long as I’m in His will, forever be content in the state I find myself in.

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